Has anyone ever had this kind of feeling.

After a WS has so disrespected you for so long and you try and convince them to work on the marriage for so long then it becomes to get easier. The more they act like an A$$ the easier it is to let go.

Yet there is a fear of falling out of love. That if you do, you will never want to have anything to do with them again which would obviously include be married to them again.

What about this feeling....Looking at your children you love so much and not want "this kind of life for them" SO BAD that you confuse that in your mind with wanting someone that just simply doesn't love you.

What about this feeling...Looking at them spew so much Bull Crap like..."I never wanted this D" and you feeling like "If you never wanted a D why have you acted like such a jerk, why did you have an A" etc...Did it ever occur to these people that maybe...just maybe that might be a possible outcome.

Rly

Oh yes, I know very well what you mean BUT I do not view it as something to fear for it is a sign of emotional strength. Whether you like to realize it or not, you have been put on an emotional weight lifting program and now your emotional muscles are becoming stronger as time goes by.

Somebody here said this (I don't remember who it was) that Love is not a feeling but an action, and your actions have proved your love for your WW, and just the fact that you are here trying to save your M, proves this.

Don't get caught in trying to make sense out of the nonsense that comes out of your foggy WW's mouth. You are not dealing with a rational human being and you do yourself more harm than good by beleiving everything she says.

Loving a person does not mean you have to deny reality.

Dear Real,

Hey i know exactly what you mean. I have been dancing this tune for almost two years. I am almost to the point i will just leave. And you know what, i don't care anymore. The only thing that makes me sad is i failed, my kids. I did my best and it wasn't enough.
I understand your pain

sara

Here is the tough part, I want to care. But why should I. I have cared enough under fire for a long time.

Then 1/2 of my brain says..."No Rly you need to keep on not caring."

Then a phone call comes and its a sweet voice on the other end of the line who is sobbing (Just today) saying "Rly I am so sorry. I don't want this for us." and blah blah blah. All I said was "Ok Wife, I got to go."

Then I hang up and start to care just a little bit.

I need a labotomy

Rly

Hi Rly,

Actually you don't need a Lobotomy, you are afterall feeling totally NORMAL feelings.

If it helps I feel exactly the same way and occasionally get the same kind of messages - and they launch a tiny wellspring of hope of recovery only to have some other act cause it to be shutdown as soon as it starts. This lifts you and smashes you down almost at the same time.

Therefore it's best to do as you do with calls. It's as 2MuchCappuchinoMan says "Its Actions not words". Ultimately you have to look at the actions...

Best Wishes Neil.