I am in recovery, have been for almost a year. However, I am not sure this can be accomplished without honesty on my husbands part about what actually happened.

Today, I found my accident, a straw with cocaine on it in his desk. I`m shocked. He never did any kind of drugs.

What would make a grown professional without any drug history, all the sudden start doing drugs. I know drug addition does not discrimate based on education, age and race. However, I think it is higly unusal that someone at his age and stage in life would just start to do drugs.

He says he has stopped and it was just for a short time. I am at a loss. I thought I might deal with this issue when my sons become teenagers, but I never thought I would have to deal with it with my husband.

I really feel he has been living a totally seperate life and just can`t be honest about what happened.

We are in counseling now and the psychiatrist said that sometimes its good to go over the past and sometimes its not.

Am I right to feel I need to know what happened in order to move on ?

I think you answered your own question, why/how could a person who never did drugs just suddenly start.....they don't, he has been doing drugs a lot longer than you realize, and perhaps as you suggest has a whole side to him you never knew about.

Lurking About... thank you for your response. If you had any idea how shocked anyone I know would be if I was to share this information with them. Sometimes its just so difficult to trust your own instincts. I just never dreamed when I got married, that I would have to deal with the issues I am dealing with in my marriage.