A lot has happened in the last 24hrs. Last night my WW came and sat down beside me and started crying. She said she wanted me to know how sad she is that things have gotten so bad between us how sorry that she is hurting everyone so much. She then told me that she is very much in love with OM. She said that she had not meant for it to happen but she feels she needs to take the chance to find happiness with someone else because she truly believes that we are never going to make it. Apparently the OM has now told his W and our Ds have told their mother that they know she is seeing someone, though she would not give them any details when they asked about him. So we are all now in the light of day. Yes, I still love my WW and would like to save my family. She still wants to be here at home with the girls part-time, spending the rest at her mothers (or with OM, of course). So it looks like Plan A is my only option at this point. Thanks to all who have taken the time to answer my posts. I will be looking for any advice and encouragement, my confidence is pretty low today.

Me:48, WW:45
Married 23yrs.
2 D(15 & 17)
D-day 2/16/03
OM lives 500 miles away and married (at least for now)
I and my Ds are starting counceling this week.

Just be there for your daughters. And Plan A, to be acted. Give yourself boundaries, on how long you plan to do A. You can't go on forever. You seem down by your post, and this really hurts. All of us BS's know what you are going through.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
She said that she had not meant for it to happen but she feels she needs to take the chance to find happiness with someone else because she truly believes that we are never going to make it. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is par for the course straight from the WS playbook on romantic affairs.

What kind of counseling are you going to? Marriage counseling?

btw, you might consider keeping your thoughts on one thread. It's going to be a big complicator for folks looking to comment if your story is broken out across 15 threads.

Since OM's W now knows, you are now free to get the OM's W's side of things. It can be very helpful to use that info to verify what your WW is telling you.

How about describing how your Plan A is going? I see a lot of "this is happening", but very little about what you are doing to save your marriage.

<small>[ March 09, 2003, 01:33 PM: Message edited by: est ]</small>

Update. WW is now staying at her mother's, but comes by the house every other night or so and take D to dinner. We have had several phone conversations. Tonight she called and said that she needed to ask a favor. She has told Ds that she is going to a computer seminar this weekend and that if they should ask me would I please not tell them otherwise. WW and Ds are still not confronting each other about A. She says that she is not asking me to lie, but just to tell them I don't know one way or the other. I agreed, but told her that after this weekend in return I expect her to set down with Ds and expose them to the whole truth about what has been happening. She then tells me that after this weekend there may not be anything more to tell them! So I am waiting to see what this weekend will bring. I am also going to my first individual counceling session tonight, maybe he can give me some insight. My problem is she told me just days ago that she is much in love with OM. If they seperate it may only be because it is impossible to carry on over the distance and because of their jobs, not because she is even considering us again. But at least I'm starting to see a ray of hope. Wish me luck.