Neil-

Sorry to hear about your difficulties and how things don't seem be getting any better. I had my hand out right up until the time of our final D hearing, with similar feelings of despair at her refusal to come home. Not only was I sad for me, but I really feared for what the future held for her. It can get better for you though, as hard as it is to believe. You can find happiness and a healthy relationship with a good women if this doesn't work out with your W. There's nothing wrong with continuing to love your W and care about her well being, even though you'll likely D.

I have to tell you though that, from what I recall, you've really done all you can to save the M. IMO, the crux of the problem is that your W refuses to take the steps necessary to make herself whole again. And without that, your M has little chance of surviving. Sorry to sound so pessimistic but you and your girls will be better off without her in her present state. I'm sure she has lots of good qualities but you can't "fix" her and make her love you (and more importantly) herself. Good luck man, I'll be praying for your family.

I agree with litchfield but I know that's not what you want, you want a way to make it work.

Extending you a hand, wish I could do more.

SS

Neil .. I have been there. Nothing you could do. I have tried to save M but to no avail, I have tried to save my ex from OM (he is really bad news, wolf in a sheep skin) to no avail, I try to save my 2 D since exW does damaging stuff and I won't want to see my 2D stray or run away, I try to keep my sanity and my own personal healing. The first two I could live with it since I could say I had tried my best. The last two are under my control and make me feel good and see what life could offer me now.

When you are going through hell ... KEEP GOING ! (Winston C). If you stop you will stuck in this hell. By keep going, at least you know that this hell will not last but tough people will. Be strong brother, no where to go but getting better. -rh-

Just letting you all now I am now divorced. Have spent the last three hours crying, feel absolutely crushed now. Didn't want it, had little choice.

Of course my X no longer wants to talk to me, its all my fault of course. I doubt I will back here at all, except maybe under a new id that she cannot read.

Neil.

Neil,

.....but we know better and so do you. XW probably knows better also but too much in the river of denial to admit it. XW may continue to walk around with her head in the fog. Life will make her bump into reality sooner or later. In the meantime you cry as needed, get your support group together, make plans for the future and execute them (the good stuff, ok?).

take care,
L.

Neil,

Don't go away ... help other to pass through their h3ll in the coaster ride. Also check up Golllum Song ... listen to the lyrics. She will end up like that.

-rh-

Neil,
Well, it's done now. Look at it as an opportunity for a fresh start, to move on. (here I go again, the eternal optimist). You tried tried and tried - everybody is witness to this. Your xW will continue to struggle - but that's her problem now, definately not yours. Move on, get happy, you & your girls deserve it! Suggest that everytime you think lowly of yourself or about xW you pinch yourself in the backside.
N

Neil

So sorry that it has "finally" happened.

You will be OK, you will come out the other side and be fine.

Nick has a great way with words, remember a good hard pinch.

Thinking of you
Lisa

Thanks Guys. First real day of Divorce and I get a **** load of abuse about money because I am trying to sort it out and soem amzing stuff about all the old stuff including how bad MB's is.

Even saw Om5 for the first time. You know when you worry about them being so much better than you... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />