I've posted detailed messages about my situation and how it's seem to have done a complete turn around in the past two weeks. My husband went from being loving, staying in our home on the weekends and stopping by asking,"is there anything you want to talk about?" to being distant and became downright mean. He says that it's over. That he's NOT coming back EVER. That he's NOT willing to try. When asked why he'd been coming around and suggesting we talk, etc. He says he doensn't know. When asked how he could tell me less than two weeks ago that when he was here he didn't want to leave and now say he didn't want to try he said he didn't know. He had spent the weekend here, had plans to come on Wednesday of that week which fell through. But, came here on Friday evening. Then on Saturday......He doesn't want to try.

I'm not sure what I should do now. I have had trouble implementing a good Plan A as it is, but right now I have to do something!!!!

So, is it Plan A or do I shock him and do a plan B and show him what life without me will really be like?

I have had trouble implementing a good Plan A as it is,
How have you had trouble?

but right now I have to do something!!!!
How about a good Plan A?

So, is it Plan A or do I shock him and do a plan B and show him what life without me will really be like?
You don't do Plan B to shock him. You do Plan B because you have done a good Plan A and have started to LB. Also you are starting to NOT be in love with him.

ferbie,
Want my opinion? I think it's time for Plan B. Enough of this emotional abuse. He is under the impression that you'll always be there should he have the inclination to come around - wants everything on his terms. Let him see what it would be like without ferbie to lean on whenever he feels like, while at the same time protecting yourself from further hurt. JMHO.

Almost

Well, as always, choosing plan A or B is about what you think you are capable of. If you think you don't have the strength to implement a hardline plan B, then just stick to plan A, and draw some boundaries for yourself.

Maybe try what I've been up to. Make yourself unavailable for the most part. Keep busy and away from home. Don't answer all his calls. Look after yourself and do things you enjoy. Now my H seems to be pursuing me. He has been just like your H to an extent, first telling me he wants nothing more to do with me, that he wants a Dv, then showing up here and calling me, and then when asked why he keeps doing that if he wants a Dv, he isn't sure. (Well, after me asking him many times, he finally recently said he keeps showing up b/c he hopes he'll find it within himself to forgive me, but just can't seem to.)

So I'd suggest Plan A with strong boundaries and looking after you as a priority. Plan B him if you think you have the strength to. (Is he still in contact with OW? If yes....plan B does sound perhaps wiser than plan Jen.)

JMHO, hope it's of use,

Jen