As I've stated, I only know of the beginning of what I could classify as an EA between my H and another woman. I have no proof or other indication that there was or is anything more going on with her. I do know that he's talked to a couple old female friends, but to my knowledge they weren't girlfriends.

That being said, does this "FOG" that is talked about still apply? He states problems in our marriage being my mistrust and that because of my mistrust, I had a "controlling" nature. I did not see things that way nor realize that I was doing something that hurt him.

He states he doesn't believe he can forgive me. Is it possible for all this to lift. I am implementing a very strong plan A and am determined to stick to it. I refuse to call him, but will respond (not quickly) if he calls me. I struggle with not calling him.

Anyway, just wondered if the "fog" applies to other situations where an affair (emotional or physical) may not be the only problem.

Ferbie,

Most WS blame the BS to justify the A. Your H is right on schedule in his WS training. This is what the 'fog' does to them. Cloud reality in a shroud of blame.

Now the question is, will this foggy atmosphere last? Fog never does. It is always a temporary weather pattern. Likewise the A.

See in the A, the WS and OPs pretend to be married, pretend to be friends, pretend to have history, pretend to have a family.

Ever try to buy anything with funny money? How about a pretend family? Made up history?

That and more is why the A will not last. In the interim the blame game is played out.

What the BS needs to realize is that the BS should only fess up to the real blame items but throw back the rest. So even if you were the worse spouse in the world, it would never ever justify an A.

L.