WW was planning on leaving within the next 2 weeks. But after telling our 10 year old son, she says she can not do it. I really do not know what she will do now. Says if she stays, me and her will just have to make do with a "fake" marriage for him. Said she wants her space and does not want to be questioned about where she is going or doing, and that if I wanted intimacy I would have to find it somewhere else(which I will not as long as I am married). I told her not to stay only for the boy, and I would not stand for her running around on me. I do not think I can live this way, there has been enough lying lately. No sense in continueing to live this fake marriage. Help, need some feedback...

Can't really offer you any help...i'm going through something very similar. wife was going to leave and now says she can't because of the kids. i thinks she having an A. she had one 18 months ago and wanted me to leave then. when i cronfonted her and the OM the A ended, we went to counselling and i thought our marriage was going to survive. All of a sudden she wants me out again, i had an A 3 years ago and have made alot of changes. she said i have ruined the foundation of our marriage and she can't forgive me....i think blaming ne is a way for her to ease her own guilt.
I know its hard but take care of yourself. I know exactly how you feel...can't sleep or eat and when she's out late you drive yourself crazy. Be the best parent you can be...Stay Strong

Gambler,

sounds like this is your opportunity to Plan A...you...

This is where you look inside and decide what type of father, husband, friend, and spouse you imagine you want to be and move towards becoming that person...

Work on you..take care of you...as well as be as content and kind as you can tolerate...

Bradnessa is right focus on you and your child...

She's talking fog talk right now...pushing you away....putting of defenses...don't react as she expects you to...
Create this home where she would want to be part of...do fun things with your son..and invite her...and if she doesn't come..do them anyways...

No deep relationship talk right now...no power struggling over her silly talk....
show her the home and life you envision...
Know that attempts of simple touches hugs, back rubs, just physical attention may be met with great rejection so the choice to try is yours...some people would reach out and touch the WS to convey their continued caring even while knowing it would be rejected...so the it is up to you whether or not you can or can not tolerate it...take it slow...see what happens...

Tell her when disappointed about going out and not being accountable to where she is...mothers are accountable..and SHE has CHOSEN to stay..with that choice come responsibility to you and your son...that's just reality...

Work on you...work on becoming who you want to be...the worst that will happen is that you will become this wonderful person/dad...and if she's still up to playing games with this short life...it will be you who decide it is enough...and move on to those that are worthy of you and you of them...

search for loveherstill posts...his wife was the WS...and he did move out...but really really worked on himself...he doesn't post much here...and I hope he is well..but he reached that place of becoming who he wanted...and found that he was going to be OK regardless of what his WS did or didn't do....

Don't get to caught up in her fog babble.
also if not in counseling..consider going...

And look at it this way gambler...the fact that she is staying in the home...puts the ODDS <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> slightly in your favor...

ARK

<small>[ March 18, 2003, 06:38 AM: Message edited by: ark^^ ]</small>