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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 74
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 74 |
Hi, My H has NC with OW for two weeks now. Even thougth he seems happy to be home. We have talking he tells me there's a hole in his heart. There just doesn't seem any way for me to fill it.We are both getting consoling and in two weeks seeing a marriage therapist. I'm hoping someone has some ideas how to help.He tells me he loves me,but I know he stills has love for her.
I try not to show how much it hurts me.We talked last night he told me he's careful not to let the kids know what he is feeling.I'm glad he shares his feeling with me,but I don't know how to handle mine.I read more than I post and am very grateful for this web-site.If any has any input I would appreciate it.
Thanks, Kathy
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996 |
Take hot baths together with soft music and scented candles. Give each other foot rubs. Bring each other small tokens daily.
As dumb as this sounds .... do it!
You cannot massage his feelings or cope for him, but you can do this difficult work together naked in a tub!
Time and patience.
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 74
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 74 |
Hi,
Thanks Pepperband, I guess I'm feeling a little gulity. Iv'e been so happy H is home with us,but I'm so aware of his heartache. I pray for patience we did talk about returning to church. He is a recovering alcoholic He had a slip last week after 3 years sober.Spent a week in rehab. He still seems so torn. Wish I could offer him whatever needs OW gave him. I don't feel very adequate. I do understand, just wish my love was enough.
Thanks,Kathy
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 74
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 74 |
Hi, Still looking for some more advice. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
Thanks Kathy
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 987
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 987 |
Kathy You sound like an amazing person to be so concerned. Pepper is always right - time and patience. Your H is going through withdrawal and nothing you say or do can change that, but he will come out the other side with your support (which sound fantastic), and a growing realisation of what a mess he made of everything - believe me as a FWS that truly does happen <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Lisa
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 74
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 74 |
Hi, Lisa in London. Thanks for your input. But it gets worse in the last few weeks I have made friends with OW. I'm also trying to support her too. (crazy I know <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> )We get along so good,and some how it seems to help.It's all so complicated. It seems they just got caught up and we all got hurt.I think we are all good people they made poor choices. I like her but love my H. I'm praying we can have a happy marriage I know things need to be worked on. I'm very glad I have this place to share. Thank you for your input. Kathy
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 74
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 74 |
hello, To anyone <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 74
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 74 |
hello, To anyone <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> kathy
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