Be careful. If you have to leave for work, can someone come and stay, would that help ease your mind?

Can H and daughter stay at a relatives? Would that ease your mind. Are you safe?

They would be fools to try to do anything now. But, then again, they were fools to try this. If you H had to jump out of the way, and a neighbor saw it, they had to swerve at him.

People do the dumbest things. Where were the brains at of the other three?

OMG!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> That's horrible! I don't even know what to say...I hope and pray that she won't try anything else and that she and her cohorts are prosecuted to the fullest extent. Take care and be safe.

I’ll bet you can get a ppo now!

This one gives me chills. Makes me think of "Fatal Attraction". You don't have a pet rabbit, I hope?

do be careful as PO's and charges do not protect from gun shots and vehicles. So keep an eye out just the same.

Unfortunately it seems that many times people go for the ‘wild ones’ to have affairs with. They are dangerous that the for exciting…. Well until they go off the deep end. That is why I often give the opinion of getting protective orders, calling the police, etc. at the first sign of strange behavior. It’s an attempt to put the person on notice to stop it before they get in trouble.

I’m glad to hear that so far it’s turned out ok.

I know you're not comfortable with weapons, but would you at least consider carrying pepper spray? I've heard that it can be lethal if the person has a pre-existing condition, but for the most part it just disables your attacker long enough for you to get the heck out of there. The one I have also has UV dye so the police can easily identify your attacker if they're apprehended quickly.

Any chance you can borrow a friend's yappy dog? These are excellent warning system if you pay attention to them. Also good company. You don't necessarily need a big dog, you just need one who can bark and warn you if someone approaches your home.

It's not much of a silver lining, but at least now your H should be well out of the fog now and this is a very concrete way to reinforce to him how disastrous this behavior is for him and his family. I would have to classify vandalism and attempting vehicular manslaughter as major love busters.

You can ask your local police if it is legal to carry pepper spray, but I believe it generally is. Where I live, they even sell it at K-Mart near the electronics. (I haven't figured out why it's there.) I found this site with info on which states it is legal in: Pepper Spray Legal. It literally is made of the stuff that makes pepper hot. It's also great for stopping dog attacks. I found this site with good information as well. You just can't take it on airplanes or into courthouses, etc. Same places you can't carry a pocket knife.

It is available as a keychain. If your child did manage to get to it and spray herself in the face, you would need to take her to the ER as it is excruciatingly painful.

My advice is to talk to your local police if you're comfortable with them. They usually carry it themselves and will have a lot more info on it than I do. I've heard that many police academies require that they get hit with it once themselves. If so, they can give you a testimonial on how well it works. I carried the stuff for years whenever I was out in the evening and it was a great source of comfort to know that I could temporarily blind and disable an attacker.

Hi,
Don't mean to barge in here but I have one thing to add about the pepper spray that most people don't think about. If there is any wind blowing you could have it blown back in your face.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by idontunderstand:
<strong>If there is any wind blowing you could have it blown back in your face.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So true. DO NOT try to hang around after you've sprayed this stuff...it's horrible! My H is a police officer, so he carries it on his "batman utility belt" ( <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ). He once sprayed it outside in a our German Shephard's hole of the week to keep him from digging.

Our teenage son tried it again about a month later, but failed to close the back door. He was trying to be helpful, but woefully underestimated the strength of floating pepper spray. We choked and gagged for over an hour. It was awful!

I'd still carry it under the circumstances, tho. Just be prepared to VACATE yourself (and your child) after you spray it.

What a horrible situation, Jazzeygirl. Talk about adding insult to injury. What a total whacko this OW is...and her sister and "friends" must be complete idiots to have helped her do something so incredibly stupid. Best of luck to you.

Lori

lol... I can relate. Had my two large dogs get in a fight in my living room once and had to pepper spray them to stop them from killing each other. Had to open every window in the house in the middle of winter and leave for a while.

LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> That stuff is wicked.

After just inhaling some floating in from outside, I can't imagine taking a spray directly in the face! That's part of police academy training, and cadets MUST do it! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> H said he's seen combative ...um... "suspects" (innocent until proven guilty <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ) take a spray right in the face and barely bat an eye -- they just keep on keepin' on. Flushed out by sheer adrenelin, I guess.

Lori

JazzeyGirl:

No doubt this trial thing is going to be yet another difficult hurdle you and your H are going to have to overcome. But I think you CAN get thru this with your relationship intact.

I'm sure you know that the key is communication, communication, and more communication! Draw closer to eachother, cling to each other -- regardless of the new facts that are uncovered. It sounds like your H has totally turned away from OW and the past, and he really wants to move forward with you into a new relationship. If he's been truly repentant, don't punish him for his past actions (he can't change that)... focus on what he's doing NOW to make a strong marriage.

You've proven you are a strong woman, Jazzey. This trial isn't going to be the easiest thing, but consider it another opportunity for growth and maturing (as a person and for your relationship).

God Bless.

Lori

<small>[ March 25, 2003, 09:09 AM: Message edited by: at peace ]</small>

Hello all, all of you have made some good points. Thank you. I had a really great day with my W today, until I had to leave and go to work. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I am constantly aware of what my A has done to her and our D and I do everything I can to protect them. I try to reassure her. I have learned a lot about myself. I continue to learn more everyday.

I wish the A never had happened. If I could go back and change it I would. I have been working on the ENQ and I am planning on working on all the other Q's out there.

There is more on my mind but I think it should be on a thread on its own.

PS Later tater <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />