MM-

You had asked me to comment on your situation. When I read I just "sighed"--Sounds like you are on the Rollacoatser Ride.

It sounds so much like my situation. All I can tell you from experience is protect yourself from "false recoveries" and "I love him, I love him not" attitudes. All of the MB people on here that I got advise from said "let her actions be your guide to the truth."--Because when I trusted her words I just got hurt

In terms of her having sex with him, my WW said the same things. I am betting they did simply because I was lied to about that for 3 years why wouldn't she lie about doing the "horizontal hustle"

MM, it sounds SO MUCH like my deal.

The lies & Fog abound...

For example in my situation she would say the following:

To Me: I think I love you both
I want to seperate so you don't have to watch me "get over him"
I miss him
I need him

To Friends & Her Family:

I never loved him he was jsut a diversion
My marriage was over long ago
He needs to change, I don't to make this marriage work

FOG

Just be a freindly casual aquaintance and lovingly distance and watch her actions. Do not trust a word she says. In order for you to trust her, she needs to be trustworthy...right?

I hope that help. You had quite a long post, if you would like me to address anything specific just post on this topic again and I'll try and do the best I can speaking from my experience. Because our situations sound oh so similar.

Take Care

Rly

there is just so much going through my head rigt now... Everyone says to forget about whether she has or not..it doesn't matter... fact is I know thgat something went on.. she wouldn't be broken up over a few kisses... even though she says that he is her best friend. If I base on her actions then I'm screwed... she wants mediation to ci=ontinue . with me moving out in her plan. thanks for checking in.. pls feel free to drop by and lend a helping hand at any time..she continues to say it is over and has no interest in saving marriage..end of story.. so get on with it.. no touching in any way... its been three months since last s%x..so she is gettingit somewhere.. but still denies....will stick to Plan A.. and hope for the best..

MM-

Why would you say since you guys haven't had sex in 3 months she is getting it elsewhere?

I don't get it, why would you just assume that?

Up until then...we wre quite active..I actually had a long tlk with her last night.. and I now beleive her totaaly.. yet the fact still remains that it is defonitely over between MM and Mrs.MM..major fight llast night.. end result marraige is dione with absolutely no chance of saving marriage..