I've been doing a good Plan B for 1.5 weeks. Contact only involving children etc. I've been feeling pretty good about everything. The distance from WH was/is healthy for me and I felt like I was beginning to live again.

Last night one of my H's coworkers called and told me that on Friday night WH and OW conducted a staff training for his school together. H is a teacher and OW works for the state (she lives 1 hour away). This upset me so much <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I don't really know why. I know intellectually that once I started a Plan B, WH was going to go back to OW full-force. I think it was that this was a public display together or that they are try to pass themselves off in a legitimate fashion.

I ended up calling his boss and letting her know that WH and OW have been having an affair since last summer and that it was tearing our family apart (boss was instrumental in putting them together for work reasons). She didn't know about the A and felt very bad and said that she would not schedule events for them to do together again.

When WH came to pick my son up for daycare this morning, I violated Plan B big-time. I pressed him for the Property Settlement Agreement that he's suppossed to be getting signed. He told me "he's been very busy" I said "so I've heard." I told him that I knew about the training and that it sickened me that they are trying to pass this off as a legitimate relationship (H's school has received a lot of grants that OW's office gives out -- at least the school children have benefited from this illicit relationship. Nice to see how the state of VA conducts business). I then told him to get the papers signed immediately so that I can be removed from this disgusting situation. I told him that he was disgusting and that the only thing I hoped now was that he could drag himself out of the mud so that he could be a decent parent to our children. His response was "I'm sorry you feel that way. I'll have the papers signed by Friday."

I'm hurting so badly -- I wasn't even supposed to want him back any more. Why do I care so much? When is it all going to end?

Hello dueinjan -- Don't beat yourself up over this. We all have triggers and I doubt many of us have done perfect plan As or plan Bs. You've only been in plan B for a very short time (although the first few weeks feel like eternity).

It's very difficult to keep it together when you get a trigger such as the one you got about their presentation together. That trigger, coupled with the fact that you have a new baby at home without your WH and another young child -- frankly, I think you must be an amazing person to even have gone to plan B and do as well as you have so far.

That said, the beginning of your post noted that plan B was working well for you to be removed from the day-to-day of the situation. I think that is a good sign that you are ready for plan B and that it is helping you.

I would just leave be what you said and what you asked for. Leave WH alone for a while and don't talk to him about anything other than your children and only then, specific things you need from him. I would not share the day to day touching moments or frustrations you're having with him because that keeps him in your life emotionally. Do you have somebody else you can share with and vent with? A good friend? A family member?

Plan B is hard, but I think it does help the BS get back some control of their own lives after the WS continues the A.

My best to you. Stay strong. You must be an incredible woman to handle this all right now.

Thank you unsureheart. I do have a good support network that has really helped me so far. People have told me that I've been really strong and have held up well considering, but I just don't have any other options. I feel like I could go insane, but that wouldn't help.

I just recently (on Saturday) looked at my new daughter and realized that while I had been caring for her, I had not been enjoying her and decided that I was not going to let WH's A rob me of anything else, most particularly, enjoying this baby. Same with my son, I felt joy with him for the first time recently since this happened. I decided that the 3 of us are going to be a happy family and that we're going to love and enjoy eachother whether my H decides to join us or not.

That being said, I still have some really low moments like last night and today. I have a lot of resentment and I really can't beleive that this man whom I loved and who loved me for so long would do this.

I would be interested in knowing how your Plan B is going. What you found to be helpful in staying on course and if you think it's working. I appreciate the message regarding sharing the frustrations/joys of the children (I had still been doing that and it would help if I stopped). I'm not so sure I'm doing a Plan B as I am trying to emotionally distance myself in preparation for divorce. So many issues regarding H have now surfaced that while I still hope in my heart - I don't know if reconcilliation is possible.