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"5 Stages of Grieving" in Relationships?
#2958146 04/03/03 03:43 AM
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Nick123
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Nick123
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Picked up something about the '5 stages of grieving' either here on MB or somewhere else… can't remember. Anyway - here it goes. The five stages are supposed to be:

1. Denial, shock and Isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

It just occurred to me that the process a BS goes through is in many respects very similar isn't it. In a sense, it's about grieving about a 'dead' relationship. At D-day, it's denial & shock. Afterwards, there is anger. Then comes the long-ish phase where one starts bargaining, pleading etc… to no avail. Then it's depression. And finally, there is the point when one is ready to let go and accept that it isn't going to work out.

Not sure if it's applicable to people in affairs too, but it somehow struck a cord in me when I read it.
Re: "5 Stages of Grieving" in Relationships?
#2958147 04/03/03 04:28 AM
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Deluded Offline
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Deluded
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Hi Nick.

This is the Kubler Ross model of bereavement-there are others. But yes, basically it is about dealing with loss.Importantly, the bereaved/betrayed does not go through each stage in any order and often NEVER passes through to acceptance.
Another way of looking at it could be that the acceptance stage-is acceptance that the R was fatally flawed as it was but needs to, has to change. This stage may be an easier one, even if it is obvious that change cannot or will not occur(because of lack of insight by the WS). It removes us from the terrible guilt and confusion and floundering around seeking straws to grasp.
Clarity of thought I suppose it means.

Interesting parallel though Nick.

Deluded
Re: "5 Stages of Grieving" in Relationships?
#2958148 04/03/03 07:22 AM
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Porsche Offline
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Atually "Relate" tell a similar story wherein the BS flits between all 5 during recovery. The Rollercoaster they call it.

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