Has any BS felt after being treated like crap for so long (Even Prior to D-Day) and especially after. After you go thru the begging pleading stage...Then you feel a little strength and finally a complete loss of love completely in the red in the love bank...
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YET
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Deep down you have this stupid nagging feeling of wanting it to "work out" someday.

I am really struggling with this emotion

Any comments?

I had that feeling, even after 2+ years, 7 separations & serving the D papers myself...and then it worked out <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .

(with both of our efforts & a good counselor--I don't want to make it sound too easy!)

I can relate.

My suggestion, is to not struggle with it. Let it be.

As my IC told me, "of course you feel that way, you were married, and you planned on living out your lives together". (btw, my IC is at an abused women's centre, and I was in an abusive M)

The way I rationalize it all, is that my emotional and logical selves haven't come in "sync" with each other. Will they ever? Well, that's my goal... but I'm also not counting on it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Really now... what's wrong with HOPING that it would someday work out?

If you've done your MB work, and you KNOW that you've done YOUR BEST to save your M, then that means that you also know that there is nothing more that you can do. It is all up to the WS. Perhaps finding some peace with that, is what you need to help you through this time.

Karen

I feel like that still also...hopefully, that too will pass.

It is hard...the end of dreams, the end of a family unit....the end of your hopes for your family.

I wish I could get over the "If onlys". I still struggle with feelings...especially when my H tries to cooperate me with plans for the kids---Oh well. Time to move on...Pat

Yeah. I have that same feeling too. I think MB has a lot to do with it. I feel like -- "If you'd just give up this stinkin' woman and allow us to rebuild our lovebanks we'd be able to get this M back on track and save ourselves and our children a lifetime of pain." It's so frustrating.

I'd like to be able to comment with some wise insight but I don't have any. It's all the pits.

Yeah. I have that same feeling too. I think MB has a lot to do with it. I feel like -- "If you'd just give up this stinkin' woman and allow us to rebuild our lovebanks we'd be able to get this M back on track and save ourselves and our children a lifetime of pain." It's so frustrating.

I'd like to be able to comment with some wise insight but I don't have any. It's all the pits.