I'm in Plan B and have to contact WH to sign tax forms. If I email him I don't know what tone to use. Do I include something like "I miss you", or just chit-chat, or news about our grown children whom he hasn't talked to in a long time, or just all business? Or do I not email him, just bring the forms to his mother's (our go-between) for her to contact him? I'm sure the A is ongoing, but that's all I'm sure of.

Brief history - WH moved in with OW New Year's Eve. He sent me a letter 1/29/03 saying he still loved me, wanted to get his own apartment to sort things out. I sent a Plan B letter 2/10/03 saying I'l like to reconcile as long as his A is over and we see a MC. I haven't had any contact with him since then. He stops at his mother's sometimes, and she and I talk regularly, so I know he is going to work, etc. WH has told his mother that he's still planning on moving into his own apartment. Actions speak louder than words, right?

What to do?
lablady

Plan B means NO CONTACT (unless it is in regards to children). Signing tax papers is not urgent where Plan B needs to be broken. Use the go between (his mother) and put a sticky note indicating where he needs to sign.
This is why it is imperative that the BS TRULY UNDERSTANDS what PLAN B is about and if they are truly ready for Plan B. If you are using tax papers as an excuse to make contact then you were not ready for Plan B.

Trying2_4give-
Thanks for your reminder about what Plan B really is. I don't think I see the tax forms as an excuse to make contact with WH, it's just that this is the first time I've had anything to contact him about. As I was writing the above post, it occurred to me that leaving the forms at his mother's was probably the right thing to do, but I needed the validation. Thanks.


I have to admit that I'm still hoping that WH will have a meltdown and see the reality of what he's doing. He hasn't spoken to our son (24) since Christmas, and he has broken contact with our daughter (22) for several weeks. He hasn't spoken to his brother or sister yet this year, nor his 96-yr-old grandmother until this week. His visits to his mother are becoming more infrequent. Is this normal WS behavior? What can he be thinking?