Hay everyone,

It has been awhile now and things haven't gotten better. WH filed for divorce behind my back. I learned only by checking cc statments. By the way WH recently began to apply for new cc in his name. And that is how he paid for the lawyer. WH charged it.........

I caught WH by the ow's house in Jan. And I am just tired........... WH lied again and said that he wasn't there. His car was parked on the next street over and I seen inside the pig's house and his hat and gloves were on her table.
ow called the police on me and when they arrived I guess that's when my WH left thru the back and must have run to his car and taken off. When I finally arrived back home he asked me where I was. At that point......I freaked out again.

I am tired and I am not going to fight anymore. I told him to just do what he has to do and I will do what I have to do. I don't know when or what is in the divorce papers or even will I get them. WH is still home but living in the basement. (Yesterday he asked me if he could sleep in my bed). I said NO... What am I suppose to do now? This morning he also became upset with me because I didn't make him breakfast.... WHAT'S GOING ON??? WHAT IS HE DOING TO ME???????? I finally made him breakfast and then he wouldn't eat.

I am at the point of no return. I don't know what to do anymore....

LOST

lost:

I"m sorry it's bad news that brought you back here.

It sounds a lot like your H got comfortable with his fence-sitting, and is no longer comfortable now that you know for sure. He may have filed or he may not have. I wouldn't believe him just telling you. Wait until you see the papers before you believe him, and don't feel obligated to just sign right away even if he has filed. Definitely get with a lawyer yourself, though. Just in case.

Hm... maybe it's high time he just moved out of the basement and in with the OW. Let real life hit him, as it will eventually. Sooner if she has to meet all his "unmet needs" than if he gets some of them from you. HIs insisting you make him breakfast, then not eating it sounds like his mind is in a mess right now. I bet if he goes and lives with the OW he won't be happy for long. He'll start missing the things you do for him, and his kids.

I hope for a better future for you and your kids,
♥Qfwfq

Definately time for Plan B. Stop doing things for him, start doing things for YOURSELF.
The space will let you get your mind together at the same time he gets reality right in the face, just like Q said.

Get him out as soon as possible. And good for you to tell him NO when he asked to sleep in your bed.

bumping for more feedback!

Everyone,

WH has filed for divorce. He paid a retainer fee behind my back. Borrowed 1,000.00 to pay off credit cards, that he just recently applied for in his name. And did charge the lawyer. (The Father's Right's Lawyer). I asked him what was I suppose to do, for a lawyer? I told him you know we have no extra money. He said do what I did borrow.... So now I am just waiting for the KNOCK...ON...THE...DOOR, to get served.....

I have asked him to leave and he said it is not in his best interest. I am really trying to get myself together. But now that I have a job, I have to leave the house at 6am and I have noone to wake up my kids and take them to school. But him. I am making arrangements hopefully my MOM will come back in town. I am also trying to get another position within the company. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. Really... WH also picks up the kids from school and watches the baby during the day. WH starts work at 5. So a babysitter comes at 4 so WH could leave for work and bs stays till I get home, which is at 5:30.

I wish he would just leave! I told him to leave and just make sure he was here at 6am for the kids. I don't know what else to do.

I am going to wait and see what happens and I am not going to do a thing for him.

Lost

lost:

Did he say why he wants a DV?

His actions and words don't jive.

Qfwfq

Qfwfq,

Yes, he has said it. He said that he can no longer live the way we do. WH still blames me for everything. WH said it is my fault... WH is seeing the ow again and I don't even know if he has ever stopped. I caught him there in January 2003. (This all began 03-12-02). So it has been a year+.

I am so very tired of all his antics. And I am not going to even try anymore. WH did pay for a retainer but I don't know what else he has done. WH acts like this is a game. Today I found out that he had his credit card statement sent to his MOMMIES house. Isn't he special!!!
So you see I am stuck.... Really really stuck. I wish I could just run far away.

I am just waiting for the doorbell to ring now. I think the ow has alot to do with this but you know what it really doesn't even matter. WH can have her, she is a dirty homewrecking pig, a prediator and the company *hore....... And if WH wants that then he can have that. I am a WOMEN.... Who has SELF respect and dignity. I deserve to be respected and loved.

lost

lost:

so why doesn't he move in with the OW??

He's still not making any sense (not that he ever did! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> )

Take care,
-Qfwfq

Qfwfq,

Get this. WH served me on Monday. Actually the papers were shoved in between my door and when I came from work at 5:30pm I found them. WH wants sole custody and for me to pay child support to him...... I guess he wants our house. What a jerk..... Anyway he also served me with a emergency order of protection. I had to get a lawyer miss work on Tuesday to see the lawyer, miss work on Wednesday to go pay the lawyer. By the way had to borrow from everyone that I know. Then I had to go to court on Thursday. WH said that I was denying him access to the children. How stupid, he is home with them everyday....... I leave the house at 6am he doesn't have to leave till 4pm. He also took them to the show the saturday prior. He also said that I am denying him access to the financial funds. What money??? We have no money........ He also don't want me to discuss the situation with the children. But on Thursday when I came back from court, he had my older son crying and he was crying to..

Of course my lawyer said for me not to worry. He will never ever get sole custody. He won't move because he said it wouldn't be in his best interest. He also said that he can do whatever he wants as long as he lives here. And he can invite anyone he wants into the house as long as he lives here. He also said that he is having his family members come to take care of the kids and there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I told him to JUST WAIT............. He is dictating my life and I can't do a damn thing about it. Like I said I have to leave at 6am and I don't get back till 5:30pm mon-fri. I have no one to take care of the kids. Nor do I have anyone to take them to school.

WH has also been doing drugs but I am scared to make him take a drug test because what will happen to the kids then? He will come up dirty.....he just came home on drugs on thursday. He comes home really late and goes straight to the basement but all I have to do is look at him and I know. WH is not under the influence when he is with the kid, so I don't know what to do. I am going to call my lawyer tomorrow and also talk to my boss. Maybe I can get emergency family leave.

What a mess he has created....... I know the ow is making him do this after I almost broke down her doors in January. WH just is to dumb to know that he is going to lose, lose everything. All I do is go to work and take care of my kids.

lost

lost:

Sorry I missed your last post until now. I've been "busy" so to speak.

I hope you told your lawyer about the drug use. I can't imagine any court would side in his favor if he's using any drugs.

Take care,
-Qfwfq