Hello... I'm hispanic 25 years old girl and my husband is 19 years older than me I have a 6 yr old girl that I love very much...But Me and my husband have been going through a lot of issues for a long time... I never feel important in his life... I felt rejected by his family and I felt that everything he did was to please everybody else but me.
I always wanted to be the perfect wife,I have my degree and I'm working and I was taking care of my house,cooking every night, taking care of his stuff, taking care of my daughter etc. I wanted him to feel proud of me, and I wanted him to feel that he was a lucky man... but all the problems we had, made things more difficult everytime... Plus his family was always in between... Now we are separate since Dec. 25... We moved from one state to another to try to solve the problem , and I started working for a family business but any way... his nephew started working in the same company and we started to share a lot of time together plus we discovered that we have a lot of things in common so I ended up involved in an Affair with his nephew, who is also married, but then he was separated... So as you all can see that's a whole mess.... my husband and his family found all about it...
Now what happened is that his nephew went back to his wife,and now I feel that I lose everything, and that I give everything for nothing... and I don't know... Sometimes I feel alone and I want to go back with my husband...He said that we should give ourselves more time to and let the time deside what is gonna happend... So now I don't know what to do... I'm afraid to come back to the same problems and have to leave again...
What should I do...

You'll get lots of advice on this site regarding the affair. Forgive me for being presumptuous if I point out the age difference between you and your husband may have caused some complications: You still want to be the perfect wife, etc.; he is at a different phase of his life, may want someone to relax with, to kick back with, to be comfortable with. Just a thought. It's by no means an insurmountable problem. But you may have been "trying too hard," as they say, and driving yourself nuts. Hence making yourself unhappy enough to seek an affair.

Again, this is a first impression, and I may be way off.

It's always worth trying to save a marriage, especially when there are kids involved. It is not always possible, but some ways of "trying" are more successful than others. For a description of the most successful way I know of, click on the link in my signature line, below. It was written for a betrayed spouse, but it applies almost entirely to you, as well.

The one thing that is different is that in the Plan A/Plan B link in that post, Plan A is described as a strategy for separating a wayward spouse from a lover. Plan A is also a technique for convincing a withdrawn spouse to work on the marriage, so you might need it. It sounds like you have been in a sort of Plan A for most of your marriage, but were not meetng much success. That can be because: 1) your H is just not receptive and committted, or 2) because you have been devoting yourself to things that are not high on his list of emotional needs. In either case, it is very frustrating and tiring. If #2 is true, a Plan A where you re-focus your efforts on things that are important to him will actually be EASIER than what you have been doing. If #1 is the case, maybe a counselor can make some headway in helping the two of you.

Well... It's being hard for me to say "no" to the guy I had an affair with... I'm living at my own place and he looks for me there... I don't know... but sometimes I think I'm in love with him... I know I shouldn't talk to him any more... and I don't call him... but I feel that I miss him a lot... and when he calls... I wanna tell him how I feel... but I don't think that's a good idea... I want to take this feeling out of me, I don't wanna think about him... but it is hard... sometimes I wonder if he feels the same about me... But who knows... and at this point I don't think it matters...
can any one give me an advice about what to do with this situacion....
and for those who reply to my first message... thank you so much.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Don't talk to him.

Another day!!!!
After my appointment with the psychotherapist, I went over to my H house last night and started talking w/ him about the basic concepts and I also brought the book I read "His needs, Her needs" ,but He doesn't seem to be interested in reading the book or looking for help and try to fix our marriage...He told me that people that look for help are people that don't know what they want and how to get it... He told me that he knew what he wanted for instance he didn't need any help... I told him that he might know what he wants and he is working to get it but provable the tools he is using are not working properly and he might need to make some changes... I also mentioned to him how much I'm learning at marriage builders and in a very short period of time it's being of a lot of help. I've been talking to him about how our marriage will work out and what I'm willing to do so we can get along better... But I don't hear him say that he would like to change someting... I just don't think I ask too much... I don't know you tell me... I understand that we're not going to be clubing every weekend or so... that's not my problem... what I needed from him was affection and attention... I wanted to feel secure with him... While I was whit him... I never let anybody to be mean to him... but he allowed my inlaws to yield at me and talk about me all the time... and that's the kind of stuff that made me upset... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> .... and ofcourse I went through all of this for too many years... we've been married for 7 years and we where together for 2 so we've been together for 9 years ... but nothing has changed... don't get me wrong... I spoke to him about it... I told him what I need it, but I don't know what is so hard about it...
I'm very affectionist and I like to show the person I'm with that I care... I like to surprise him and do nice stuff... but I don't like when that person don't even look what I do... It's like he didn't appreciate anything... But I don't know... That's why I thought he didn't love me and he was with me 'cause I was there... and before I had an A I ussed to tell him that one day I'll be gone and He'll miss me... But I don't know... I think u only miss what you love and provably he doesn't.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
So anyway... at least I'm trying for my self 'cause if don't work with him... I will be ready por the future... and I will take my time to choose and do not make the sames mistakes over again... I'm not in a rush... I'll give my self some time...