<small>[ April 24, 2003, 07:09 PM: Message edited by: Still Trying To Save It ]</small>

No you are not wrong because in a drunken state anybody can cross dangerous boundaries (even YOU sttsi). But don't get mad at imready2try because I'm sure that she did not mean to disrespect you.

i agree with coffee-i dont think she intended for this, you mentioned all being a little drunk....well. have a CALM talk with her and explain it if necessary--but i would like to know what she felt and said after sobering up???

<small>[ April 24, 2003, 07:10 PM: Message edited by: Still Trying To Save It ]</small>

STTSI-

This is triggering you right now...You are too close to the A in time and unfortunately what she did as a juvenille stunt, you saw as more WS type disrespectful behavior.

I truly believe that she wasn't thinking and just did a "stupid" thing spur of the moment. Unfortunatey, that type of irresponsiblity is what led her to her bad path.

All I can say is Radical Honesty here. Figure out WHY you feel what you feel and then be honest to your wife. Listen to her side without judgement-

You will get through this. I think it's a normal reaction that you had.

Also, there was one time when I was at a party where people were drinking and a girl friend dumped a pitcher of ice cold water down my shirt. I was outraged but my X sat back and did nothing! I think that this is normal stupid things that people do. Ask your wife how she REALLY felt about the events of last night. I'm sure you would be suprised....

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by kily:
<strong>This is triggering you right now...You are too close to the A in time and unfortunately what she did as a juvenille stunt, you saw as more WS type disrespectful behavior.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You are right about that!

So we spoke about it at length last night. She said she didn't intend it as disrespectful behavior, she only wanted to have some fun. To me, I felt that her actions were too close to WS behavior and that really set us back quite a bit.

I think things are better now. Once I told her that I was not happy about her actions that night, she stopped right away and we started talking about it.

Thanks for your responses!

OK, you're Crazybutt.

There.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Seriously though, it's good that you were able to talk about it. Chalk it up to one of those moments. There will probably be more of them but as long as the good communication continues ... it sounds like you'll both make something stronger together.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Coffee- You really need to lay off the coffee and get some sleep! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah I've already tried that brand but found that it was decaffeinated so I gave it away to my neighborhood homeless guy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Here is another thought, also, besides you not liking your W's behaving like that, do you want to see your sister in a wet T-shirt.

<small>[ April 24, 2003, 10:44 PM: Message edited by: Still Trying To Save It ]</small>

Your wife's inappropriate conduct shows a picture of her moral character. It hints of a corrupt type of thinking. Another red flag that you should be aware of.

STTSI I'm sure your W has gotten the message, please resist the BS temptation of beating her over the head with it (I'm sure that you haven't done it anyway). Please consider that your W needs your help to learn to protect herself from the bad influences that would destroy the two of you and your M. You two have all the makings of a great success story if you help one another.

Thanks for your responses! My W and I have discussed this and we both see eachothers points of view here. We have both come to terms with our actions and have put this issue to rest.

Thanks again for your help!

A small step leading to a new behavior in the marriage. GFY

Now that's this is all sorted out to a nice resolution...

There's a small part of me that grimaces when I hear:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">[pronoun of choice] engaged in [risky behavior of choice] and then did/got [something with negative consequences].</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Not that the current scenario was so much of a no-brainer, but there are other times when the reader can't help think "What the heck were they thinking?", no matter how open minded and understanding they try to be.

Don't know why I chose to comment on this phenomenon on this thread, though. Maybe because it was relatively calm.

Anyway, congrats on the mutual resolution.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by tomaz:
<strong>Your wife's inappropriate conduct shows a picture of her moral character. It hints of a corrupt type of thinking. Another red flag that you should be aware of.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Tomaz- I can sense your anger and bitterness but since I don't know your story I can't understand why. You are correct that that was inappropriate behavior, I don't however feel that is any reflection of her moral character. We were all drunk that night and as Coffee pointed out we can do crazy things when we are drunk. As far as it being a red flag, you are correct it is. It is a red flag for how alcohol can affect our thoughts and actions. A red flag of her character, I think not.

I also would like to apologize to my W. It was not appropriate of me to post what I did without her enthusiastic yes. That I did not have. I have apologized to my W and that is why I edited my posts above.

To my W, I am truely sorry.
To all of you, thanks for your repsones.

STTSI,

I would be happy to edit my post to you on this if it helps. (you missed the reply to me). I want to see the best of things to come for you and the Mrs. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ April 24, 2003, 07:37 PM: Message edited by: Sue with hope ]</small>

STTSI,

Hey, there will be bumps in the road, but keep your eye on the big picture. Props to you and your W for working it out. Later.

-Luki

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Sue with hope:
<strong>STTSI,

I would be happy to edit my post to you on this if it helps. (you missed the reply to me). I want to see the best of things to come for you and the Mrs. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Please do. Thank you for your understanding.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Still Trying To Save It:

I also would like to apologize to my W. It was not appropriate of me to post what I did without her enthusiastic yes. That I did not have. I have apologized to my W and that is why I edited my posts above.

To my W, I am truely sorry.
To all of you, thanks for your repsones.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">SSTSI -- Truly a man among men. It takes a lot of integrity and courage to take this stance. Kudos to you. (I wish there was a smiley of a standing ovation, there's not, but you have it anyway.)

C