How do you detach with love and NOT become two roommates living in the same house?

And......

How do you detach emotionally and still not worry about the 'after effects' of the affair? i.e. financial, quality time, etc.

<small>[ April 21, 2003, 10:18 AM: Message edited by: angelia ]</small>

anyone?

How do you detach with love and NOT become two roommates living in the same house?

I think it's a matter of forgiveness and acceptance. If you make the conscious commitment to forgive your H for his A, then acceptance of it all should come hand in hand. "Let go and Let God" is the best motto to live by in this situation.

How do you detach emotionally and still not worry about the 'after effects' of the affair? i.e. financial, quality time, etc.

Again, I think it's a conscious decision that needs to be made on your part. When your mind starts worrying about things that are beyond your control, then that's your clue to FORCE yourself to think about something else.

These (so called) "answers" of mine are extremely brief... but I do hope they can help you think of more ways. You've really posted a toughie of a question here Angelia. I sure hope more will answer throughout the week (everything is extra slow b/c of it being Easter weekend).

See ya in chat! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Karen

karen,

funny that you answered that way...let go and let God because I was reading the daily inspiration in the "Language of Letting Go" for today and it basically says that I will allow myself some time to make the right decision and the prayer is for God to help me let go of the 'panic and fear" and to show me His timing.

How appropriate.

Then, on the way to work this morning I was listening to a tape series by Joyce Meyers on The Spirit of Fear and the very first tape is about not fearing....Not that we won't have those feelings of fear or even the feelings of unforgiveness or resentment but we should stand on the word of God because HE is bigger than our problems and HE promises he will NEVER leave us.

Just what I needed for today.

I suppose that I'm trying way too hard to put all the pieces together and not spending any time just living. I realized after reading the co-dependency no more book that I have never lived at all outside of reacting to the issues in my life. From an itty bitty age I've learned these techniques and now I'm almost 40 trying to unlearn them....

I'm not sure my question can be answered as it is written because the answer is really that I need to detach with love for MYSELF and whatever happens after that I will still be strong enough to handle. God says that I can do ALL things through HIM which strengthens me. He's not gonna leave me without any power or without any support.

Thanks for your reply.

luv ya!

A

bumpity bump........

Hi Angelia ~

Your best place to start is:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=008859;p=1

The only thing I'd add to that post is that love is a choice.

You can detach emotionally from the rollercoaster, and from the behavior, and still choose to love your spouse.