Hi All-

Just a quick question.

Mt sitch. is a little strange as I was the WP. The qusetion I have is how do you deal with LIES being told to the children by the BS?

An example is that my DS is being told that I am holding him back from his daddy on the holiday and that this made dday cry - the facts are daddy has has DS on EVERY major holiday since AM entered his life. I allowed this as part of my PLAN-A tiwards him. Another example is that daddy is telling DS that I am only out to get all of his money! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I know that addressing it at all is giving power to the words, but I'm worried that DS is going to start thinking that I'm the BAD person when it simply isn't true.

Additionally, I went into the house today to get some clothes (dresses and things) and X followed me into the house. I was led to believe that AM was not home so that is why I chose to go then. I have been deliberately trying to work without her there because she is innocent in this (to a point). Well he and I exchanged words and one thing that was voiced was that he was tired of me thinking about me. I voiced that it IS about me because it had been about him for too many years and that I was tired of giving in to him all the time. I told him to leave because I wasn't bothering him and that I was within my rights to be in the house and he continued to stand there - watching me. Finally, I told him to call the police if he had an iisue and that they would verify what I was saying. I told him to leave again but also let him knw that HE created this sitch. by having HER move in without my consent prior to a settlement!

She was standing at the TOP of the stairs and overheard EVERYTHING! I didn't realize it until I went upstairs in the closet to grab the camcorder! I later called to apologize to her for anything that might have hurt her. It wasn't about her...

How do I prevent the lies from damaging my son and my relationship?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by kily:
<strong>How do I prevent the lies from damaging my son and my relationship?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm not sure there is anything you can do kily, other that continuing to tell and LIVE the truth with your son. Kids are VERY good at judging character, and if he doesn't already see it, he soon will see how his daddy is so full of negativity, whereas mummy is sad, but stays optimistic.

As you've known from the start of your MB time, you cannot control what your xBF says or does. You need to find a place to "let it go". It's hard... I already know it, and I haven't even had to deal with it yet! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> (I'm afraid to hear from OS what stbxH says during their visitations - whenever that happens <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> ).

If you feel comfortable with it, I imagine you could talk to your son about what his daddy says, and what you say, and find out what he FEELS about it (do NOT make him feel as though he needs to take sides... that's not fair to him).

Karen

Kily,
Not sure exactly what to do. But, I can tell you that my whole life my mother bad mouthed my father, and as I grew older and saw things for myself I realized that she wasn't entirely right. Granted, that doesn't help you now, but eventually he will see through the smoke and realize the truth.