WH, Cake-eater, came home late sat. night to spend the night and be here when youngest D got up sun. a.m. He brought D's Basket of goodies as he said he would, and she was thrilled with it.
He spent the day sunday, had dinner and left around 5pm.
We did get some time to talk. I asked him why he was here. He said to see D on Easter Morn.
I said do you realize that you are "choosing" to give all that up, because I can't be doing any more of these "holidays" with you so that you can have things both ways.
He gets mad , well if you don't want me here then I don't want it both ways?
HUH?
Do you hear what you are saying? If I don't "let" you come, then you don't "want" it both ways! but I guess if I let you come you'll take it both ways!
So much FOG, he doesn't even make sense most of the time.
As always, it was frustrating to be around him. He had said earlier that he would spend a "few" days this week(vacation week for the kids) at the house and get some yard work done. Well, now it's down to 1 day and by the time he gets here, etc. not much will get done(and weather prob. won't cooperate). Hey, thanks for the help!
Again, he insinuates that any chance of reconciliation that we may have had, has been ruined by my behaviour over the past few months!
UUGGH, don't put that in my lap, MR. WH!!
Sorreee, I wasn't a nice little sweet girl, while you were out F#*!n around and trying to figure out what you wanted!! Sorreeee, I didn't play by the rules that you laid out for me!(no letters to OW, calls to OW's H, etc.)
He says, well I warned you!
Anyways, I think it may be closer to Plan B time than I thought, because this is frustrating beyond belief and I'm not sure what to do from here. I'm running out of patience and keep sliding into that "want to fix it now" mode.
On top of everything, "family" is beginning toget on my nerves. Statements like, "Why do you want to do everything your way and not want to listen to what we have to say" HELLO, IT IS "MY" LIFE!
Sorry that I want to do things on my time line and not "Family's"!
And then this, "You need to think about the kids, they need to move on and start the healing process". OH so I guess a D will be the magic pill we've all been looking for, gee, I'll get right on it!! And make me feel like my kids aren't my #1 priority!!
Things are really pi##ing me off right now.
I tried to plan a work day for sat. Asked friends and family to come over to help with raking and have a B-Que. It was hard for me to ask, but everyone keeps saying "If there is anything I can do". Well, yeah, I'm stressing over such a BIG yard and no help from WH, can you help. Friends were so receptive, no problem, what can we bring, I'll call so & so for you, that's a great idea(not to mention the socialtime will be nice and give me something to think about besides our 19th Anniv. on Fri.) .
Family response, we feel like we are doing WH's work for him, why do you feel like you have to get everything done at once(one less thing to stress about maybe??)They want to support me but only how they want to do it. I can't ask for anything specific, this is what I need, can you do it. No it's always unsolicited advice, comments etc., and me always trying to defend what I'm doing(MB stuff, Plan A, no D, etc.) Like I have the extra energy to spend on that crap! Don't get me wrong they have also been there, but it seems always with strings attached.
So I've tried to back out of the workday thing, but friends are now insisting. I may just do it and leave "family" out of it. I could use a nice day, without feeling bad about them being there for the "wrong" reasons.
My head hurts!
Just venting, but feedback would be nice. Get me through this crappy day!
