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What to do
#2961435 04/26/03 08:56 AM
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 39
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REMORSEFULHUSBAND
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REMORSEFULHUSBAND
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wife wants me to leave legally, to give me time to work on myself.she says at a 1 year if it looks like im better we can work on it gettin back.i dont know if shes sincere or just blowing me off in a nice way. i thought if i leave for acouple of monthes, maybe that will help and we can try sooner but i cant stand the thought of her just saying goodbye. kinda out of sight out of mind? dont know-help
Re: What to do
#2961436 04/26/03 09:25 AM
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MelodyLane Offline
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MelodyLane
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remorseful,
Its pretty hard to work on a marriage from afar. Do you think she would be receptive if you came to her with a plan to restore your marriage and her trust in you? For example, what if you came to her and expressed your great remorse for hurting her and then laid out a DETAILED plan for restoration. Tell her that you love her and that you will do anything to make her feel protected and loved again.

Agree to write, with her help, a no contact letter to the OW. Open your life up to her completely and totally by accounting for all your time and giving her all your cell phone, voicemail passwords. Offer to install spy software on your computer, if applicable, so she can see every word you type. Agree to call her 2-3X a day, etc. What do you think?
Re: What to do
#2961437 04/26/03 10:07 AM
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REMORSEFULHUSBAND
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REMORSEFULHUSBAND
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i have told her all that.accounting for time seeing a couselor,bawled begging for a chance.i told her to give me 30/60 days for her to see a change.if she didnt or still felt the same way then we would call it quits.i know thats not long enough but i figured if the time was small she would be more apt to try. she wants me out.i have freinds /family that say stay there and work on it,others that say get out give her time and work on myself.then i hear if i leave then theres a bigger chance of her takin everything (even though she says no). she says she wants it to work but not under the same roof and she gave me her wedding ring. if yopu tell someone you hope it works but you still give them the ring back is that a sutttle way of saying they quit but are telling you it.
Re: What to do
#2961438 04/26/03 08:07 PM
Joined: Dec 2002
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dinotopia Offline
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dinotopia
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Remorsefull,

A wedding ring is the symbol of your union. Its a pretty important piece of jewellery to near every woman on this planet. At present that ring is a symbol of pain for her.
Dont be disparaged about it being tossed back at you... I threw mine back at my husband and it bounced of his forehead...

Tell your wife you placed the ring in a safe place.....till she feels safe enough to wear it again.

Moderated by  Fordude 

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