I have read almost all of the things on the site. And I have spent a considerable amount of internet time here on the site, lol. Hours a night! So o.k. where do I go from here? How do I approach my husband with the things on the site? Do I print out the questionares and have him do one? Do I print out certain articles that pertain to our situation? Anyone? Please suggest something because I really am anxious to do this. It's something we need to do.
Felicia

You start with Plan A.. it's changes that you make. I'm sure you are familiar with what Plan A is if you've done all the reading. Also take a look at the link in my signature block to about Plan A, Doormats, etc. It's great insight gathered from months (and now years) spent here on MB. (The credit goes to the many who have contributed here over the time I've been here.)

If you can afford it, a session with Dr. Harley could go a long way to get you started and to know how to approach your husband.

How do you think your husband would respond if you asked him to read the book "Surviving an Affair"? You might want to ask him to read it so that the two of you can discuss it and discuss saving your marriage. That you like what the book has to say. Then after that ask him to do the questionnaires.

That is where I’d start… see if he is open. But do not try to teach him. It could very well turn him off to the entire MB concept.

If he shows no interest, then just keep plan A’ing.

Tell me, what are your thoughts? If his behavior will not change, are you planning to leave him? This has to do with setting a time limit. A person cannot Plan A forever. It becomes a life style that WS seem to really like.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by zorweb:
<strong>How do you think your husband would respond if you asked him to read the book "Surviving an Affair"?

If he shows no interest, then just keep plan A’ing.

Tell me, what are your thoughts? If his behavior will not change, are you planning to leave him? This has to do with setting a time limit. A person cannot Plan A forever. It becomes a life style that WS seem to really like.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I know for sure, without a doubt in my mind, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> he will definately not read ANYTHING, lol. I have to make him read directions to things. He can read, but he's just not a reader. That isn't stopping me from trying Plan A.

My thoughts on this is that I don't want to assume that we have a crack in the marriage, but there is a crack I see. I monitor him on the internet. He has a new email address and where he messes up is going into chat rooms. I feel we need to come to an agreement about getting rid of ALL the collected ponography. Everything has to go because it is making me uneasy, self consence (sp?) and lowering my self esteem. I am even willing to convert faiths so that we can all go to church together as a family. I just really want to make this work and though very ill, there is nothing to can stop me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
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