To make a long story short i had an A 3 years ago. Wife had one 18 months ago. wanted to seperate, i wouldn't leave started councilling alone then together. last summer she "loved me again" and everything seemed great. last October feeling left again, she wanted to seperate in march, found out about OM #2. With OM #1 i ended the A (took three confrontations). With OM #2 it is supposedly over but only because i confronted him. I don't think all contact has ceased but i'm not sure. there is no use asking her, she will deny deny deny until i have proof.
We both started going to church last week (together) and i found i have a real desire to search for god and make my life right. my wife seems to be feeling the same way (seeking out christian book stores and reading christian based books). we both want to continue going to church. she told me that just because she is trying to find a relationship with god that nothing has changed, she is done with the marriage...here is my question. i still feel she is in contact with OM. do i confront her (or him) or put my faith in god and let his will be done.

Well, you could spend the rest of your life "cleaning up her messes" or you could let do it herself- all the while telling her- "It's your choice."

It depends on what role you want to keep.

I can understand the "need" to end things from your point of view, but if it's not coming from her- things are not ending.

I hope things work out for you- you have a tough situation.

1) Put your faith in God, ask His will for His best in your life. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths (Prov. 3:6)

2) Plan A yourself like there's no tomorrow. It's all about improving yourself, recognizing and changing behaviors that damaged your relationship w/ your W in the past.

3) Recognize that what you want may not be what God gives you. God will give you exactly what you need. It may or may not be a better, renewed relationship with your wife (which would include her repentance and desire to work on the marriage as well).

Ok that's my 2 cents (not adjusted for inflation or anything)