Hmmm...I have noticed that my H cashed a $5000.00 cheque into our old joint account, that I no longer use, but that he does. Thing is, I still have access to it online because it's attached to the same access card as one of my RRSP's.

This may be an inheritance from his father's estate.

I assume that as a FWS (and since I am separated from my H, both physically and financially) I have no place asking him about this money, or if he inherited anything, or if I deserve anything?

What's your take folks?

No, I am not a gold-digger. I don't want or need his money, but I wonder what some of you would do in my place. Am I being a fool if I pretend I never saw that deposit and never inquire about inheritances from my FIL's passing?

I don't feel like I dare to ask about inheritances because my H would go into a rage and accuse me of being a gold-digger, selfish whore, or perhaps other colourful terms, I'm sure. At the very least, I am betting he'd be mean and say "you have no right to know since you decided to cheat on me. You lost that right when you slept with my BF."

Jen

I don't see where bringing it up would be beneficial in any way. Unless you divorce and he tries to hide it (which would be difficult since it's in a joint account) I don't see what difference it makes one way or another.

His inheritance sole and separate property. Therfore it is not community property. So it’s his to use as he sees fit. Does not matter if you were together or separated.

<small>[ May 05, 2003, 06:34 PM: Message edited by: zorweb ]</small>

Okay, therefore it's something to mentally file and forget I suppose.

After thinking about it for a bit, I don't see why he didn't put it in his other personal chequing/savings account(s) that he opened at another bank after we financially separated. It's probably another "test" of his, to see if I still check the account, and to see if I'll try to ask him about the money's origin so he can tell me it's none of my business OR so he can say "see what you're missing out on?"

Gosh he's caused me to view him cynically.

It's best if I act like I never saw it I guess.

Jen

Jen- What would you gain by asking him? If it is an inheritance than the others are right you cannot touch it at all! By asking him about it he will realiaze that you are checking that acount and will move to another.

I see that you have nothing to gain here. File it away for use later, maybe.

Jen if you are not legally seperated/divorced then the money in question is indeed community property. Provided the deceased did not make specific exclusions in their will against you receiving any benefit from the inheritance. In the event of divorce you would be entitled to half in most cases.

But let me ask you this is $2500 all that is left of value....whether we are talking about your marriage or your sense of self worth?

s-d: It's not all that's left of value. It's not worth bringing up or going after at all. I still love my H, even if it means I'm a foolish doormat who doesn't know how to get out of the cycle. I also loved my FIL very much and don't want to do anything to upset anyone in his family.

I never saw it, won't mention it, case closed. Thanks for the advice folks.

Jen

Stunned-dad

I’ve never heard of an exclusion being necessary, an interesting tid bit.

I suppose it depends on which state they are in. In New Mexico, the inheritance is sole property of the person it was willed not. No exclusion is necessary.

The only way I could have made a claim on it is if he had mixed it with community property money… he never did.

My ex-husband was able to exclude his inheritance for that reason.. he received it about 7 years before we divorce.

Since this really does differ from state to state, and if Jen wanted to put a claim on the money, the perhaps a trip to an attorney is warranted. However it seems she is not concerned about it.

In Georgia anything gained during marriage is joint property in most cases.

There was a case where a man divorced his wife and a few weeks after the divorce was final cashed in a winning lotto ticket for several million dollars.

Since the winning date was occurred while they were still married at the time the ticket was a winner the wife sued for and got half of the lotto winnings.

In Jen's case its a moot point because he deposited the money in question into a joint account.

Jen I see nothing wrong with printing a page of the deposit in that account.

Not wanting to be negative but should you two divorce there are often alot of monetary entanglements you can't forsee. For example either of you could have run credit cards, left bills unpaid. borrowed money against common assets etc... And even if you were not the party doing all this it will impact your credit history and in many cases you will still be jointly responsible for the debts occurred.

<small>[ May 05, 2003, 10:54 PM: Message edited by: stunned-dad ]</small>

The only "debt" we have is our house mortgage. We always paid our credit cards off completely every month, and never took out any loans, except for a couple of short term (like 1 or 2 month) ones from family members. There's no worry about any monetary entanglements beyond my H owing me half the house equity. (God I hope we don't get to that point.)

I may just print off a copy of that online statement though, since we never know what the future may hold.

Jen

I believe than inheritances are NOT community property because they come from relationships that existed BEFORE the marriage, and thus are not subject to being shared in a divorce.

I may be wrong on this, and it may vary by state. Attorneys, please chime in.

Let's see, the jailhouse attorneys here (or should we say the MB attorneys) have brought up good points.

A lottery ticket is community property when purchased during the marriage. I heard about that case or one like it.

Anything that is a gift or inheritance, in NM, belongs to the person it was gifted to and is not community property. For example I have quite a bit of antique furniture that was not considered community property. I received it from relatives during our marriage but I had letters from them explaining that it was a gift to me alone.

One of the issues in my divorce was that even if some of the inheritance was placed in a community account, it the paper trail of the money could be traced it could still be considered sole property. And if the money is spent before divorce happens, then it’s like not even there anymore and does not count.

Seems it’s all dependent on the state laws and how good an attorney you get. And I’m sure that Jen would pay an attorney much more than $2,500 to get the money.

In the end everyone gets screwed financially by a divorce, except of course the attorney. I think there’s actually a law to cover that. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ June 05, 2003, 03:17 AM: Message edited by: Eleonora ]</small>