HI , I may the wrong one to start off the comments to you for I am a BS .
I am an open minded person who can think past that most5 of the time . SO if I come across as hard on you understand it is not all about me knowing what your wife is going through , This is JMO as an individual .
FIRST off you are selfish , All of us want things ,people ect. in our life a certain way and would love to sit around like a baby and stamp our feet to get it our way .
BUT this is LIFE and it is REAL .
There is not enough time to go around and just sit back and let someone else make YOUR decions for you or for you to sit back and screw with other peoples lives cause your scared of life .
YOU need to give it up , either your W or OW or BOTH . MAKING sound to simple for you , WELL it is that simple .
ENOUGH excuse of I feel this for this one and that for that one and I NEED .
NO BUDDY LIFE IS NOT ABOUT ONLY YOU !!!!!!!!!
AND if you want it to be then go off on your own .
YOU get something from OW then tell your wife what that is to see if she is capable to fill that need or if she even wants to .
YOU want OW gone then say good-bye .
SHE made a choice to be with a MM , It was her choice .SHE needs to deal with that pain of you leaving all on her own .IT was your choice to have the A .
THE ONLY ONE WHO DID NOT have a choice was your W . THAT is the fact , WHEN putting in the effort to turn to someone else cause things where bad did you ever think that if you put HALF the effort into turning to your W your M could have been saved without the A ?
TRUETH is that if a M is bad and you don't want it you should go and get a D or separate not bring a third party into it so you can try a new life on for size to help you make a decision .
I can understand well you already did it so now what ? WELL $hit or get off the POT , NOW not 3weeks from now or 2days from now do IT NOW .
SOME ONE IS GOING TO GET HURT ANYWAY , they already are so end someones pain .
The only reason your choice is hard is cause your selfish , cause you want garenty that your making the RIGHT CHOICE SO YOU DON"T HURT IN THE LONG RUN .
WELL I can almost secure you, you will hurt no matter what . CAUSE you will live with this for the rest of your life (JMO)
IF you choose your W , then N/C with OW forget about friends you already know you can't do that , and your W can't either .
IF you choose OW good luck , will she ever trust you with the way she got you? and will you trust your self with the way you got there?
YOUR love with your WIFE I am assuming has a foundation something it was built on something real .
YOUR foundation with OW was built on a betrayal .
YOU can restore the love you once had with your wife , you need to work and reach way down and remeber what? and WHO? you both meant to one another . START with being HONEST to your self and to your W .
OW is just that THE OTHER .
LET me ask you something if you are so in LOVE with OW why would you even be doughting yourself if it is TRUE LOVE then why isn't there papers being served to your wife ?
I don't know about any one else but me personaly IF I AM IN LOVE I CAN"T and won't miss a day of hapiness with that person for no reason .
I move heaven and earth for the love of my LIFE .
I wouldn't and couldn"T give up the person I love .
COULD it be that this is a mistake ? could it be FANTASY? something you wanted with your W that you ran from or didn't know how to express ?
IS that why your holding on to your wife , knowing that you did not try with her ?
KNOWING that she could give you all and you didn't work with her for it ?
SO you can't justifiy letting her go either ?
I know you are hurting to , I know that and I belive that . BUT you are in control .
YOUR W's pain you have not yet to even understand .
STOP controling OTHER PEOPLES LIVES , for your own selfishness .
YOU can stop this and move on a mistake is a mistake learn and forgive yourself and open up to being HONEST .
I got to go please do not think I was trying to hurt or offend you just being totally open .
