I have some good news and then I have to make a decision based upon the news.

I have been putting my life back in order for sometime now, as many of you know. Recently I applied for several positions with different security companies across the city and one in paticular was interested in me. I'm still waiting to hear back from the others at this point in time. I also found an academy where I took some courses in executive protection. I have one more course left before my certification is valid. The academy is at the company I applied with, who is now interested in me. The have two details that they want me on. The first detail is going to be at a national consulate's office for a country that is represented here in Houston. The protection of the consulate would be for 2 or 3 days a week. The other days I would be instructing in the academy, as a instructor, certificates pending. This is a great opportunity for me. It would also be a great opportunity to work for 'this' paticular consulate and works wonderfully with where I live. The job is downtown and I could commute via our metro/park and ride which is right across the street from my apartments.

The second detail, I was informed today is going to be a government contract in Denver, Colorado. The company that runs the acadamy, whom I applied with, used my resume', history and qualifications to win the government contract. They would pay me to handle this government contract, but it is going to require a relocation for 3 to 6 months, I was told today.

I'm okay to do the travel for the company, but the relocation/temporary duty assignment (TDY) is going to be very difficult, as I have the boys with me at all times. I could relocate the boys to Colorado with me, as I asked today of the company, and they agreed, but the problem and issue I am going to face is that of several things.

1. I don't have a custodial agreement in place.
2. My WW, when I mentioned the TDY, told me she won't let me take the boys.
3. I have a lease until August at my current residence.
4. I don't know which assignment to take.
5. The Consulate assignment would look better on my resume.
6. The Consulate assignment pays more.
7. The Denver assignment is going to affect any opportunity of a last ditch effort of recovery between my WW and I. (you all know the spot I'm in and where my lovebank is at.
8. The boys are in a good school, are comfortable where we live finally and have lots of good friends; a relocation even on a TDY is a long time for a 10 and 8 year old.
9. I thought of hiring a nanny to watch them between my shifts in Colorado, and fly back and forth on my days off, to be with them.
10. The company needs an answer pretty soon. They want me to come in and meet with HR and set my assignment. They aren't necessarily offering me one or the other. They NEED me to go to Colorado.
11. Based on a relocation, what do I need to look for, ask for, and watch out for as far as what a company should pay for and what I have to pay for. ANYONE with a relocation history, please respond.

Contractually with the government, I have to be on the ground 01 June.

Ack! What now...? All this with my marriage in the state its in, and the pending discussion/solution/closure with my W. And I haven't even given a two weeks notice at my current job yet. Not to mention my PPO certificate won't be completed until the last 3 days of May and 01 June.

H2Y,

It seems to me the decision is obvious. You don't take the TDY. You are not set up to do this, because you don't have a custody agreement with WW, your kids need you there, and it is only 3-6 months. However, sometimes these things go longer. It seems the best situation is right where you are for many reasons. Go that route would be my advice.

JL

What are the worst things your wife could do if you go TDY? File for divorce? Abandonment? Custody? How would you deal with each one?

What if you accept the TDY, and then your wife tries to stop you. How would you handle that?

Does you wife have a lawyer?

I could not see where you listed any drawbacks of the Consulate job, but there must be some if you are considering the TDY. What's wrong with the Consulate job?

Thanks JL,

Hi <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> , Didn't know you were still around, hehe.

The obvious is obvious to me also, but I wanted to run the information/decision by my friends here. Thank you. I'm very happy for me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I have to let the company know this week. I'm going to try and get off of my current job this Friday again.. to go in and discuss my options with the new company.

Good to see ya JL. How are you doing?

tmmx,

The drawbacks to the Consulate Personal Protection is just that. It 'could' be dangerous, with the issues of 'homeland' security in this present day. Its only 2-3 days a week (with classroom instruction the other 2-3 days) and the salary they haven't set in stone yet. I have plans to only work for this new company for a short time, until I meet some 'good' contacts in the industry, so that I can further my carerr. Either way this job is a stepping stone to my career as an Analyst/Consultant in the security industry, sometime in the future. A path I've only recently rediscovered an interest in.

That, the little that I know, is it. I'm sure there are other things, lots, that I don't know about either position yet.

Thanks for responding tmmx.

H2Y,

U need and have received solid support. JL is a great one to help us keep our sense of reason. Maybe JL is Steve's CA twin! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Anywhoze...... I throw a vote for keeping you right where you are and taking the job there in TX.

If that means you will also be taking on a teaching position.....who knows what options that will open up to you? Remember you don't want to be too picky..... your responsibilities keep you tied close to home and that is good for you right now. You also will be in a better position to make better and stronger family decisions over a period of time instead of all at once.

take care bro',

L.

Well you girls have helped me once again, talk my way through, the decision that I needed to make. Thank you again. Its always nice to be able to 'think tank' with friends that have your best interest in mind.

*Huggs*

H2Y;
sounds like the logical choice is the local job. That will allow you to work the rest of the details out, with time, and then you'll have many more options.
Even if you wanted to, and your W agreed, a custodial arrangement will not happen in a week or two, and knowing your situation, you DON'T want the kids with the W, right?
My opinion is take the local job, work things out as you make other contacts and other opportunities arise.

kids come first-----but you knew that already!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Okay,

I was presented with relocating to Colorado again, today when I got to work.

They 'really' need me to commit to this position, because the contract/account they are about to secure in Colorado is being won on my creditialls/experience/resume.

Although the company is NOT paying me for the service that my c/e/r is bring the company, the salary is hourly and not very rewarding, they are essentially telling me that if I scratch theirs, they'll scratch mine.

I told the company today that if I did go, that I would want to maintain my residence in Houston and travel to my job on a bimonthly basis. I would want the boys to stay here in Houston with family and wife or nanny while I was gone bimonthly. Essentially 14 days on in Colorado and 14 days off, returning to Houston.

Logistically, this is probably going to be impossible. The tour of duty is from 6 months to one year, and the travel back and forth is going to wear me out quick.

Finacially, it is going to be a burden to maintain an efficency apartment in Colorado at 199 weekly and a apartment in Houston, based upon my proposed wages.

Emotionally, I don't want to be away from the boys for that extended time, as they already fear losing both parents.

Legally, if Lucidity DID file for divorce, this is going to give her the upper hand in gaining custody of the boys, because its not stable.

So.. I guess I just answered my own question.

The school that I want to attend is in Colorado and is nationally known to produce excellent results for its attendees.

Logically, taking care of the boys, vs., career is career hindering.

SO, Lovingly, I choose the boys over the job, career promoting or not.

Oh ya.. contract acceptance/notifcation of assignment acceptance is 1400, 05 Jun. So by noon tomorrow, I may be looking for another job. Talk about catch and release..

what?

L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Orchid:
<strong>what?

L.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Huh!? Did I just completely lose you? Now you have me confused.. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> What did I do? hehe.. tell me. Ack! I don't know, L. What is the what for big sis?

<small>[ June 05, 2003, 02:51 AM: Message edited by: Husband2you ]</small>

That's what I get for only reading your last post. I went back and read the other one and now it makes sense.

I must need to go get some shut and read this in brighter light!!! LOL!!

I know you have a big decision ahead of you. Will be thinking of you and your family.

Aloha bro',

L.

U need to get some shut eye 2! You have a lot to do tomorrow. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

'night,
L.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Husband2you:
<strong>I have some good news and then I have to make a decision based upon the news.

I have been putting my life back in order for sometime now, as many of you know. Recently I applied for several positions with different security companies across the city and one in paticular was interested in me. I'm still waiting to hear back from the others at this point in time. I also found an academy where I took some courses in executive protection. I have one more course left before my certification is valid. The academy is at the company I applied with, who is now interested in me. The have two details that they want me on. The first detail is going to be at a national consulate's office for a country that is represented here in Houston. The protection of the consulate would be for 2 or 3 days a week. The other days I would be instructing in the academy, as a instructor, certificates pending. This is a great opportunity for me. It would also be a great opportunity to work for 'this' paticular consulate and works wonderfully with where I live. The job is downtown and I could commute via our metro/park and ride which is right across the street from my apartments.

The second detail, I was informed today is going to be a government contract in Denver, Colorado. The company that runs the acadamy, whom I applied with, used my resume', history and qualifications to win the government contract. They would pay me to handle this government contract, but it is going to require a relocation for 3 to 6 months, I was told today.

I'm okay to do the travel for the company, but the relocation/temporary duty assignment (TDY) is going to be very difficult, as I have the boys with me at all times. I could relocate the boys to Colorado with me, as I asked today of the company, and they agreed, but the problem and issue I am going to face is that of several things.

1. I don't have a custodial agreement in place.
2. My WW, when I mentioned the TDY, told me she won't let me take the boys.
3. I have a lease until August at my current residence.
4. I don't know which assignment to take.
5. The Consulate assignment would look better on my resume.
6. The Consulate assignment pays more.
7. The Denver assignment is going to affect any opportunity of a last ditch effort of recovery between my WW and I. (you all know the spot I'm in and where my lovebank is at.
8. The boys are in a good school, are comfortable where we live finally and have lots of good friends; a relocation even on a TDY is a long time for a 10 and 8 year old.
9. I thought of hiring a nanny to watch them between my shifts in Colorado, and fly back and forth on my days off, to be with them.
10. The company needs an answer pretty soon. They want me to come in and meet with HR and set my assignment. They aren't necessarily offering me one or the other. They NEED me to go to Colorado.
11. Based on a relocation, what do I need to look for, ask for, and watch out for as far as what a company should pay for and what I have to pay for. ANYONE with a relocation history, please respond.

Contractually with the government, I have to be on the ground 01 June.

Ack! What now...? All this with my marriage in the state its in, and the pending discussion/solution/closure with my W. And I haven't even given a two weeks notice at my current job yet. Not to mention my PPO certificate won't be completed until the last 3 days of May and 01 June.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is my time so I am not sure you will receive this. It looks like you have a great opportunities for a job. It would be a difficult decision for all to move to Colorado; however, a great chance for a fresh start in life. What do you children think about it? Do you think your W will follow? Are you prepared to be "homesick?"

2help,

Email me please at husband2you@yahoo.com

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Husband2you:
<strong>I have some good news and then I have to make a decision based upon the news.

I have been putting my life back in order for sometime now, as many of you know. Recently I applied for several positions with different security companies across the city and one in paticular was interested in me. I'm still waiting to hear back from the others at this point in time. I also found an academy where I took some courses in executive protection. I have one more course left before my certification is valid. The academy is at the company I applied with, who is now interested in me. The have two details that they want me on. The first detail is going to be at a national consulate's office for a country that is represented here in Houston. The protection of the consulate would be for 2 or 3 days a week. The other days I would be instructing in the academy, as a instructor, certificates pending. This is a great opportunity for me. It would also be a great opportunity to work for 'this' paticular consulate and works wonderfully with where I live. The job is downtown and I could commute via our metro/park and ride which is right across the street from my apartments.

The second detail, I was informed today is going to be a government contract in Denver, Colorado. The company that runs the acadamy, whom I applied with, used my resume', history and qualifications to win the government contract. They would pay me to handle this government contract, but it is going to require a relocation for 3 to 6 months, I was told today.

I'm okay to do the travel for the company, but the relocation/temporary duty assignment (TDY) is going to be very difficult, as I have the boys with me at all times. I could relocate the boys to Colorado with me, as I asked today of the company, and they agreed, but the problem and issue I am going to face is that of several things.

1. I don't have a custodial agreement in place.
2. My WW, when I mentioned the TDY, told me she won't let me take the boys.
3. I have a lease until August at my current residence.
4. I don't know which assignment to take.
5. The Consulate assignment would look better on my resume.
6. The Consulate assignment pays more.
7. The Denver assignment is going to affect any opportunity of a last ditch effort of recovery between my WW and I. (you all know the spot I'm in and where my lovebank is at.
8. The boys are in a good school, are comfortable where we live finally and have lots of good friends; a relocation even on a TDY is a long time for a 10 and 8 year old.
9. I thought of hiring a nanny to watch them between my shifts in Colorado, and fly back and forth on my days off, to be with them.
10. The company needs an answer pretty soon. They want me to come in and meet with HR and set my assignment. They aren't necessarily offering me one or the other. They NEED me to go to Colorado.
11. Based on a relocation, what do I need to look for, ask for, and watch out for as far as what a company should pay for and what I have to pay for. ANYONE with a relocation history, please respond.

Contractually with the government, I have to be on the ground 01 June.

Ack! What now...? All this with my marriage in the state its in, and the pending discussion/solution/closure with my W. And I haven't even given a two weeks notice at my current job yet. Not to mention my PPO certificate won't be completed until the last 3 days of May and 01 June.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, for my first time, I sure made a lot of mistakes in typing a reply to you - sorry. I do realize how serious this dilemma must be for you. I can only imagine how painful it would be for your W and she should definitely count in the decision making.

2help,

I welcome any response from anyone here at MB. Please understand that when someone 'just shows up' creates a new account and begins posting to a particular person, that ALL of us here become skeptical. What is their motive, why did they come out of the woodwork to just post to me?

Obviousley, you probably know me personally. If you do, please be the friend that you are and contact me via email and let me know who you are. If your a new MB'er, welcome. If your an vet, don't want to get caught in the middle, just say so. If your Lucidity, in disquise, I don't understand why you would change your name to post to me. If its you W, please just email me so we can talk about all of this.

I am very skeptical at any 'new' posters to me. Especially since the OM violently posted to me years ago. Please understand, that I don't understand your motives, if there are any. I hope that your just being a friend. Thank you though for replying to me. Please Email me 2help.

Wow,
It has taken me this long to come to MB.
Here I sit in a room full of strangers who only know what they have heard from the H.
The H who has been hurt, whos wife has left him
The H who promised he would ruin my life.
I do not have the mindset of Tom Clancey.
I made alot of mistakes and hurt alot of people.
I am sorry
You have no idea what it was like as a wife to this man. It was both good and bad.
The snooping did not start with my leaving it started years before and it included his children.
I broke vows in my marriage, the same vows H broke.
I pined away for a man who was never there.
I was betty cleaver and his playboy bunny for years.
I went through so much with this man and I loved him through it all.
I have not had the luxury of bending your ear with all that has gone on nor would I.
All of you sit here and judge me by what he tells you. You contimplate my role as a mother and a woman.
I gave birth to 2 beautiful boys.
I cared for them I love them.
How about this one H.
YOu are such a great role model and loving father that plastered on your car is a siloutte of a naked woman. A woman you told our boys was a pic of there mother.
You also have a bumper sticker that says
Your mama is my next ride.
That is how I have been treated by you for years.
That is the disrespect I have been talking about.
That is the pain I feel.
I remember the shut your suck comments.
The porn for all those years.
And now you are questioning me about my abilit to mother my children.
How dare you.
You instigate so many things and then run off as if you have done nothing.
I am sorry but I am so hurt right now.
How dare any of you agree with him about taking off with my children.
I thought this place is for heeling.
It seems to me that its not.
I read one reply from the H to someone on here.
The h was calling MB forum his court.
I am venting and I am hurt.
This will probably be deleted.
Unaccetable wording towards a long time member.
God forbid the truth come out.