5 years ago my wife and I were having problems. She moved out for appox. 2 weeks and during that time she slept with another man.

We are back together and now have a son and are doing well, but the thoughts I have/had regarding the past don't go away. I posted on this site only once, but reading everything I could helped my wife and I stay together.

Today my nephew, my wife's sister's son, has his 2nd birthday party. The OM is my sister-in-law's husband's brother, who will also be at this party. (My wife's sister and husband were going out, not married, at the time of our marriage problems) For this reason, I was not going to attend (My wife is going which doesn't worry me at all.). I do not want to run into this guy ever again, but I don't want hurt my wife and miss my nephew's party.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Maybe a similar experience?

I would suggest that you go to the party. Why should this OM stop you from doing what you want to do? Does everyone in the family know about the affair? Your wife is going anyway so you should find it interesting to see how they both react or not react to each other. I do not see what you have to gain by not going and having your wife go by herself. I wish you luck.

I have to agree with Bryan. If anyone should stay home, it should the one who did something wrong, the OM. You have done nothing wrong and shouldn't allow him to alter your life. Go there and stand beside your wife and stare the scumbag down.

Show your strength and go to the party. Otherwise you are letting this OM control your life! You are in control, and you have a good marriage. You'll be fine.

I agree... go to the party!!! My FWH's FOW was non other than my own sister!!! Talk about difficult family functions!!! At first I was going to stay away... then I decided that I was NOT going to avoid my family because of HER!!! To make a long story short, it has been a year since d-day, and I go to my mothers for every holiday/party WITH my husband... I told my mom that if "she" wants to be there, fine... "She" has YET to show up to a single one!!!

Don't let the FOP decide what you do!!

-mc

but I don't want hurt my wife and miss my nephew's party.
???

She is the one who "messed" up things by having the affair, so you would not be "huritng" her.

Discuss it with your wife using the POJA (Policy of Joint Agreement).
Either you go to the party with her or she doesn't go (I vote for the second.)

Your presence at the party will demonstrate two things:

1.You are mature adult who can handle being around the OM without embarrasing himself or his W. Your W MAY even be so impressed at how well you handled yourself that it may deposit huge amounts of love units in her love bank.

2.The OM is most likely to be discouraged from attempting to make conversation with your W if he knows you are there, and your W will not be tempted to reciprocate thus ensuring the continuation of no contact between them. He may even leave the party early because of your presence, and then you and your W can truly enjoy the party.