I am not married, but these suggestions seems very helpful for all in relationship trouble. So here it goes: Dating a guy and after a few weeks we fall in love. His work here in CA falls through and he has to move back to VA to save money to move out here for good, for only me this time, not the job. He was away for five months, though I thought it would be less and the emotional effects on me were disasterous. He did not provide me with any way to contact him, as he was couch-hopping from father's to friends, but instead called about once a week. During this time of pain for both of us, an ex came into my life and eventually convinced me to sleep with him. I suppose it was relief from the pain of my departed and gave me companionship and attention I needed so badly. So, although my love had left without asking me for a formal commitment, when he came to visit it was clear he was expecting it. I wrote letter after letter to him while he was away, as well as two video tapes because I communicate better that way, but they remained unsent until he arrived for a visit three weeks ago. When he started reading, a vague mention of my ex when he first started hitting on me and I rejected him came up. Things followed and my love found out I had in fact slept with the ex. He had taken pains to keep faithful and loves me enough to even mention marriage in the future but now it might be all over because of this. Long distance relationships are bad for both of us, and they were unexpectedly devastating for me. Now he is understandably upset and back in VA, about the "infidelity" and the fact that I was unable to tell him over the phone the extent of my pain, but instead he finds out after he comes back and sees all the writing and tapes. He called a few times a few days after he left in that storm, saying he missed me, he wanted to hear my voice, his grandmother died timely a week after "d-day", and to vent his frustration that it is unfair and he can't trust me to not hurt him again. I sent him a letter apologizing and pouring out the pain I felt (he finally gave me his father's address). And then a packet of love and support poems by Rumi, and am contemplating another letter. He has not called after that last venting and my return call to his aunt's (dunno how I found that right number online... ), for two weeks. I know that isn't very long, but his planned move is at the end of this month and I still don't know if he is willing to give me another chance. My ex was nothing to me and was just comfort from the pain of loving this man, but it turned out it might destroy everything I fought to survive for. I have written a letter based on the four rules of love and wanting to start again with these foundations, but am uncertain. Should I stay silent until he chooses to call? Should I send this letter to show my idea for a plan of recovery? What should the wayward half do when all she wants is to be with her love and regrets the entire five months they were apart? Should I keep sending letters, keep chasing? Just wait?
Am I waiting for godot? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />