I sent the plan B letter on Monday, he would have received it Tuesday. Must have written/posted his letter on Wednesday. It arrived in the post today (Thursday)

I did read it, and right now I can hear the purists screaming at me "no contact means no contact!!" Well, I choose to take the consequences ..... you can say the "I told you sos" later

He has said he will respect my wishes regarding communciation (starting with a letter ...)

He says he is in some kind of strange depression, is at a mental stalemate and becoming more and more distressed. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> He says he wants to return and redouble his efforts to be a good husband, but some thing is stopping him .... contact with OW, perhaps??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> He is going to see a counsellor to try to gain some perspective and try to make some progress. This is a positive step for him.

He says it is ironic I have cut off communication at this time - when we should be talking to try to sort things out. He hasn't seemed to grasp the Plan B is because of his decision to continue to have OW as a friend.

Still waiting for my funny, intelligent, loving, cute H to come back!

(BTW, as an extra nice personal touch, WH folded the letter the same way as his OW always folded her love letters to him <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> )

Claire,

U R ok. You read the letter. Of course your actions confuse him. It should. The question is do you feel safer in plan B? Remember plan B is about your safety not his convience.

Write your response and keep it for a while. The writing will help you unload and let you see where you were and how you progressed. He appears to be reaching out to you a bit but he is still in the fog.

take care,
L.

<small>[ May 22, 2003, 02:34 AM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

In Plan A, I always wanted to know what he was doing, and if he was with OW; the lies really upset me. I don't have the lies anymore, I don't have him telling me that I made him miserable and that OW is so much nicer to him. He and OW can have each other! OW no longer feels like WH is cheating on her! Plan B makes everyone happy!!!

Plan B is much less stress, but it was scary for the first day. I was scared of losing him forever. But I already had lost him in the fog. After I realised that continuing contact with him was going cause me to lose all love and respect for him, Plan B was much easier to accept.