Wow
today I leave the speakers we sold to a co-worker of my H at my in laws. There was nobody there and that was fine with me...

After that I went to my parents to have lunch and bassically not to be alone.

Mom started asking questions and asumptions about H and I told her to stop it, that I didn't wanted to talk to her about it...

Then she told me ok... just one more thing... and she asked did H asked you for the divorce? WOW! where did that came from? She had a phone conversation with someone at the family that knew someone at his family. I don't know is that is gossip or is a know issue in his family and I'm the only one who doesn't know this?Well you can bet that all of a sudden I felt really sick and left.

We have not talked about D yet... and now that is wondering in my mind and I'm not having a good time thinking about it.

Our sittuation now is NC just some e-mails, nothing more... No talking about D or coming back and I hate this stuck time without knowing for the future...

I really don't know what to do anymore...

I've found that my mother is not a good person to be with. My mother pushes me to want to divorce my WS. Maybe that is what your mother was trying to suggest. I've found I have to pick and choose who I talk to just like I have to pick and choose my music. The main goal is to do what's going to help us take care of ourselves. Weekends are awful. I'm here like you thinking about them spending every minute of this time together. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Matilde,

Your mom's question is just that a question. She worries about you and wants to help. It may not be what you want or need but know that her intentions are probably meant to help. Parents are at a disadvantage when dealing with these issues since it is a family that is suffering and normally all family members have the same objective (normally). When the main member (spouse) is the worse offender....then it throws everyone off.

Unless you are dealing with other issues with your mom. If not, I would just thank her and ask that she respect your decisions but later when you are stronger you will ask her opinion. For now if she could just give you a motherly hug, it would be helpful and appreciated. Something like that. ok?

take care,
L.

mimi1254

is not like mom is a bad person to be with. I guess she is worried about me. I'm going to explain better also to Orchid response...

About
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I'm here like you thinking about them spending every minute of this time together. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm sorry I feel the same pain as you now but we have to hang, nothing else to do.

Orchid

I love my mom, but I have not told her much about this A issue to anyone in my family because if we get back together I don't want them to hold grudges against H.
Hummm that made me wonder about my relationship with my mom... I know she loves me very much and not intend to got pain on me, she just doesn't realize how painfull this can be. On the other hand I have never discussed real problems with her deeply. And I kind of regret that and I know is my fault. Because the few times that I did, I already had a solution for them but mom was very supportive always.. which is bringing ters to my eyes now...
About the hug I really need it but I can't remember the last time we hug with feelings you know? Don't get me wrong we love each other but seems we don't express it very much...

Take care and really thanks for the reply.

Well Matilde, maybe she can be a type of support more than you realize. Here at MB we don't always know each other in person but share so much of our lives and feelings here that many of us know each other more than our own family's do. At least for this A junk..... this is hard to share but you may find that once you do, the wealth of support helps. If it backfires, well there is a positive spin to that also for it does strengthen us and teach us something about each other. On the other hand not all 'supposed' negative comments are bad. So one has to weigh the good with the bad. More are scared about telling family, workmates, neighbors, etc. I did and am glad I did. Not everyone knew everything but through it all I managed to keep most of the respect in our lives. When H decides to step back into association with our family and friends (he has distanced himself), then he will see that they are willing take him back and forgive him but he has to make the 1st move. It is a bigger step for him than for you getting their support.

JMHO,
L.