well, after going back an fourth and him finally telling the truth. he bought a phone card and was calling o/w. anyway he apologized to are kids for his behavoir and told them he was staying home and working on our marriage. h. erased all the o/w messages and phone no from his cell phone took her e-mail address off his buddy list and off computer. told her it was over tuesday 5/20. we go to marriage councilor once a week and seperate counciling once a week. he has been acting nicer it has only been 5 days but this is the longest so far. we don't really talk about o/w she lives out of state. o/w use to live here because of job she moved back to her home state new job. h hasn't said he is sorry to me or even talks about the pain he has caused it is like he has no clue. we are going away for the weekend of 7/6 till 7/8 our 28th wedding anniversary is 7/7. his idea. we haven't had sex since dec.2002 i don't know what will happen on our weekend away. i don't know that i want sex. i don't want to be compared to 0/w she is 14 yrs. younger than my h she is 38 he is 51 52 in sept. i am 49.he kisses me not romantic, but good by and hugs me alot. i catch him starring at me alot.what is this? i don't know what to make of this could it be he is comming around in the beginning he told me he loved me but he wasn't in love with me. his a begain in dec. 2002 i found out 4/23 he finally ended it 5/20. i do beleive because he told our children f-23 f-19 m-13 that he was never going to see or speak to o/w he we all know ever again.

Please be careful. Read my story at I'M A PLAN B FAILURE. Also read the topic FALSE RECONCILIATIONS. I don't mean to discourage you but I didn't listen when others here warned me.

Our WSes are the same age, having this mid-life thing so our situations MAY have alot in common.

Your WS sounds a lot like mind did. He stared at me alot. I thought it was attraction but he stated that he was "trying". Unfortunately, I realize now that the staring was him comparing her to me.

Go for it. Be optimistic but BE CAREFUL!!

Take Care.

<small>[ May 25, 2003, 07:28 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>

Congratulations! Recovery is a most difficult job. Go to the Q&A section of the website and learn all about the steps to recovery.

It is good that you are in IC and MC. Just make sure you both find a PRO-marriage counselor. For your MC needs might I suggest either Jennifer Chalmers or Steve Harley which you can find here at the website, or go to www.saveyourmarriagecentral.com and look into Penny Tupy. My wife and I have been in recovery for about 2 months now, we have been using Penny and she has been great.

Good luck, it is a long and bumpy road.