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I need someone to talk to.
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I spoke to you on Fiday I think, my h was leaving for the weekend to see the ow. I asked him to leave on Tursday after he still decide to see her.
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Go ahead april17 There a lots of MB hopefuls here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
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Yes, I remember,
How has the weekend been going for you? I suppose looooonng?
Has he called?
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I'm just really second guessing myself, like I have pushed him into her arms. I haven't heard from him all weekend, don't know where he is or anything. I hate this feeling, my heart is breaking. I love him and want it to work out, I'm scared to be alone. Scared he won't want to come back.
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Joined: May 2003
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Just read your situ.
April it is so early days yet.
How are you?
Nurture yourself, allow yourself the space to feel, then come here to vent when you feel it.
Welcome to the emotional rollercoaster.
When I started here I was completely lost, I did find looking at people in the reovery forum hopeful and then going over the archieves to find ideas of how long, what the feelings, thing done and said, and reassured myself all this is normal.
There are a few excellent pages on this site, going to search for them now.
See you in a mo.
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What did he say when he left? Anything?
This is a very confusing time, a very emotional time. A rollercoaster ride of your life. One you didn't ask to get on and one you really want off of.
I will be back I have to hang some clothes on the line.
I know you are in good hands here with the other MBers
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All he said was when we told our children why he was leaving was that "he made a mistake and need to leave for a while". We hugged and he said "take care" to me and left. He called the next afternoon to check on the boys and that was it. I am also afraid I am dealing with him having an addiction.
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April I am looking for John39, and WATs quick start guide haven't found it yet but it was a powerful document for me to work from at the time you are in now. Just got Notable threads bumped up. there is a lot in there. Notable threads I know it is hard, it gets worse, highs and lows, don't despair, it then gets better, much better <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
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April, still hoping for you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> There is another thread on this board today that is very similiar to yourself and all of us BS's. The feedback and advise if truly awesome, please check it out. Just found out There is light at the end of the tunnel getting through the thick, thick, fog is the challenge. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> Take care of your self and the boys, enjoy the moments you allow yourself to. One thing that kept me sane was the belief that he was temporarily insane, and I had to decide that whenever he spoke of his OP, it was all lies, coming out of totally confusion whilst stuck in fog. It worked. He has changed what he said along our recovery path.
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John39 has posted quite a few times under "just found out" I can't recall the exact name of the thread. It was started by Cerri,
It had in the title MB thread
Cerri has some good links in her sig line also.
I will also see if I can find it
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Where do I go from here?
What do I do if he calls?
What do I say?
Do I just listen?
The not knowing is the hardest part I think.
He's been home for 3 weeks which has made this even harder. I just got him home and he left again already. I asked him why he can home, he said it was because he loved me and the boys.
If he loves her so much why didn't he find a motel right away? Was he just using me again?
Knowing I would forgive him and he could do what he wants and get away with it again?
How can someone be in love with 2 people at once?
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Link to Cerri's thread - Cerri's MB lets talk John39 Why do you think he used you again? Did you feel like he used you in the past? Affairs are a fantasy life. He does not know her well enough to love her. I think it was Dr. Harley who said that less than 5% of affairs actually survive once exposed. If it wasn't Dr. Harley, someone please correct me. The odds of the survival of the A are against it. <small>[ May 26, 2003, 09:39 AM: Message edited by: Sue with hope ]</small>
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Becuase he has done various similiar things our whole marriage. I thought we had a good marrige, but I am now realizing there was no intimacy other than sex. I honestly believe now that he has had a sexual addition our whole married life and am now just able to come to terms with it and do something for myself and our boys. He needs to find help for himself but he is not broken yet because he has never had to worry about losing us.
This was just another form of the addiction, it's worst form for me. I guess that it made me realize how serious it is, how bad it has gotten for him.
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Sorry, I had to go suddenly,
It sounds like this has happened in the past?
April - most of us here want to see marriages recover, if there is an addiction, the addiction has to be dealt with before the marriage has a chance to survive. You have to decide how long you are willing to wait for him to get help, and how much your M means to you.
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