my h. says he wants to work on our marriage but is still confused doesn't know if he wants me or o/w. he says he loves me he says he loves o/w it has been 8 days with no communication at all with o/w. i just keep a-ing all the way. will i notice any changes in him soon. how will i know if we can work it out? we have been going to marriage counseling since april, about 7 weeks now. we allso go to seperate counseling. still no sex. we are going away for a weekend 7\6-7/8. it is our 28th wedding anniversary 7/7.he started his a 12/02. i found out 4/23/03. we never fight get along great. i wasn't meeting his emotional needs.and we both weren't meeting each others sexual needs. i don't know what happened it just did.

dekicks, Your husband is still in the fog. If he truly stays in NC from ow, it takes approx. 6-8wks to notice changes in ws. They go through withdrawal from op. It hurts bs to see this, but we have to try to stay patient and just be their friend. It's so hard just to be their friend when we're starving for affection. It will pass if ws is truly committed to NC. Sometimes the ws backslides and contacts op. If this happens it sets you back. Surprisingly though once the withdrawal is over you see them changing for the better. He is what we call sitting on the fence right now, saying loves you both. He will have to make the leap to not have any kind of contact with ow whatsoever, then he can focus all of his energy on working on your marriage. So sorry you're having to go through this. I am bs 2yrs d-day, we are in good recovery now. This is a good place to come to. This site was a life saver for me. Read all the info if you haven't already under Dr. Harley's infidelity.