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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Anonymous advice?

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Anonymous advice? #2965897 05/28/03 03:18 PM
Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 779 D dazed blonde OP Member
OP dazed blonde Member D Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 779	We live in a very small town with everyone knowing everyone else's business. I don't think anyone in our town every found out about my FWH's A but you never know.... The problem I have is that we just found out 2 high profile couples in our town might be losing their Ms because of an A between the couples. They were best friends of each other and I can't stop thinking about the poor BSs in this case. I know all the parties involved but wouldn't consider myself a close friend of theirs. I would love to send the betrayed wife a card that said marriagebuilders.com on it. Does anyone else have any other ideas?? Thanks, DB <small>[ May 28, 2003, 03:40 PM: Message edited by: dazedblonde ]</small>

Re: Anonymous advice? #2965898 05/28/03 04:34 PM
Joined: Apr 1999 Posts: 5,798 L Lor (Lor) Member
Lor (Lor) Member L Joined: Apr 1999 Posts: 5,798	DB, I think receiving something anonymous like that would be creepy, I'd wonder who was watching me, sending me stuff, y'know? Would you feel comfortable walking up to her and handing her a card with the addy, saying "this really helped me deal with some tough times in our marriage"? Or at least, signing the card if you sent it. MB is about more issues and situations than infidelity. But then, I don't worry about anyone finding out, since so many people--neighbors, co-workers, friends--knew, so secrecy isn't an issue for me.

Re: Anonymous advice? #2965899 05/28/03 04:37 PM
Joined: Apr 2003 Posts: 100 R Ruoy Member
Ruoy Member R Joined: Apr 2003 Posts: 100	I think it's a great idea. I'm sure they are hurting right now and feeling pretty lost. They would benefit a lot from coming here. Is there anyplace else we'd want them to be?

Re: Anonymous advice? #2965900 05/28/03 05:35 PM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 2,236 South Dakota D daybreak Member
daybreak Member D Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 2,236 South Dakota	dazed, I would have to agree with Lor that you could just hand a card to the BS's with some comforting words and the address for MB. Doing it anonymously is not good, as I am sure they are already thinking great what is everyone thinking. They need that personal touch right now to know that it's ok and that they are not the only ones having gone through this. Just my 2 cents!! Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Re: Anonymous advice? #2965901 05/28/03 05:38 PM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas M MelodyLane Member
MelodyLane Member M Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas	Referring them here would certainly be a help, but they aren't likely to come here if they don't know they NEED help. What they really need is the TRUTH, not a referral to something they don't even know they need. I would send them an anonymous card with the FACTS on it. [I would make sure I knew the facts before I sent it, tho]

Re: Anonymous advice? #2965902 05/29/03 10:01 AM
Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 779 D dazed blonde OP Member
OP dazed blonde Member D Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 779	Thanks for your replies! Melody Lane - I would feel 99% sure that there is definitely an A going on. And the wife knows so I wouldn't be the one dropping the bomb so to speak. Yes, I know, a personal note would be great but I would have to discuss it with my FWH first and I hate to say it but I don't have time for a heart to heart about it right now. </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> "this really helped me deal with some tough times in our marriage"? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes, Lor, I think I could word it this way. The more I think about her the more I know I would feel horrible if I pass up this chance to help her. I was wondering about taking over my SAA for her but that would be a huge step for me. DB

Re: Anonymous advice? #2965903 05/29/03 01:15 PM
Joined: Aug 2002 Posts: 324 N notgoingtodothis Member
notgoingtodothis Member N Joined: Aug 2002 Posts: 324	HEY DAZED How have you been. MISS YOU. Is your son out of surgery, and is he ready for football. Have a good day, Sara

Re: Anonymous advice? #2965904 05/29/03 03:12 PM
Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 779 D dazed blonde OP Member
OP dazed blonde Member D Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 779	Hey NGTDT!!! Surgery was in the middle of March. He is progressing really well with just a 3 inch scar and about 3 little holes. His pt said he is 6 weeks ahead of schedule in the rehab dept. I have to drive to downtown Chicago by myself next week to take him to the doctor!! Oh No!! His doc says football for sure! I'm beginning to have bad dreams about the first tackle he takes! I hope his o line is a good one!!! DB

Re: Anonymous advice? #2965905 06/03/03 04:56 PM
Joined: Aug 2002 Posts: 324 N notgoingtodothis Member
notgoingtodothis Member N Joined: Aug 2002 Posts: 324	Congrats to your son on his recovery, Thinking of you driving downtown, gives me hives. LOL. Im glad to hear that you are ok. Sara

Re: Anonymous advice? #2965906 06/05/03 10:41 AM
Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 779 D dazed blonde OP Member
OP dazed blonde Member D Joined: Nov 2002 Posts: 779	I made it! It ended up being just DS and I. We took my DD car since it's smaller and easier to manuever in this ridiculous parking deck! Had lunch at Ed Debevic's - it was good. Doc said he is progressing well and will have a great knee in 2 more months. One muscle left to get stronger. I don't know how they can tell! Almost missed the exit to I-55! Oh well, we made it! DB

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