I'm wondering if anyone here could give some advice . . .
My H had some suspicions for quite a while that his sister's H had been unfaithful. While there was no hard proof, there was a great deal of talk at his place of work (where another one of my BIL also works). So anyway, he thinks he should tell his sister - I talk him out of it, saying in effect "She's gotta know - and if she doesn't, it's because she doesn't want to." We conclude that he will not inititate, but if she ever asks, he'll tell her that he's pretty suspicious.
I am absolutely flabbergasted when she shows up at our house in tears, wanting to talk to my H. I grab our D and leave them alone. When I come back, he tells me that she asked and he told her - not that he was an SOB or that he KNEW - but that he had heard rumors. He also said that it didn't have to be the end, reconciliation was possible.
The next morning my H got an angry phone call from his sis, accusing him of trying to destroy her marriage, along with other members of the family.
This was several years ago - at least now SIL does attend family functions, but she is very cold and distant.
There is a lot of other baggage involved (family dynamics, a history of depression, etc.)
Is this typical? I mean how does the BS usually respond to confirmation of an affair? From the information we've been able to glean (from their children and my FIL) I wouldn't recommend them as poster children for recovery.
How can other family members re-build a relationship in these circumstances?
