Just a mini vent and a question: does anyone else on here withhold sharing (possibly) pertinent information about their situations, b/c they worry that certain someones might be reading it, and you don't want them to?

I am definitely in that predicament. There are bunches of things that are going on, and decisions I have made, and talks I've had with my lawyer, etc; all of which I want to talk about and share on here, and get ideas about... but I feel that I cannot. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Although H is not allowed to use a computer, there's no saying that he can't just get a friend to come here and see what I'm posting. Same goes for his parents. And in order to not "tip" them off on some issues, I can't post about it. It's simply a safety issue, and a need to keep some things "hush hush" until court dates arise.

AUGH!!! I wish I could say more... but I won't, b/c the well being of me and my boys in the long run is more important than a few vents on here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Please tell me I"m not the only one who does this! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Karen

p.s. changing my alias, or using a new one is not an option for me either. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Well I didn't until just last week when unexpectedly my wife posted for the first time. Never crossed my mind because she would join a message board because she has never registered on any message boards before.

So know I avoid ripping her too much...then again things are going well so it doesn't hurt for her to read any of my posts.

One huge plus for me is her server at work tracks certain site activity. While it doesn't restrict access to MB it does require you to use your work password to enter thus telling your employer you visited this site from work. So at least she doesn't jump on from work like I do.

Topie,
You've been posting here quite a while. I wonder if, by now, you know some MB members well enough to have their email addresses and can vent THAT way as opposed to doing it with specifics here on a discussion board.

While I doubt my WH would ever come here, there is always that possiblity and unfortunately I chose a screen name that he would recognize. But I have only posted truthful things that weren't (at least in my mind) derogatory towards him. But what I wouldn't give for him to care enough about our marriage to be reading the info on this site...That any past venting would be a good problem to have, ya know?

can you get a secondary account, one which only you know to vent on things that you can't as yourself? then if you need help, you can get it without exposing yourself?

Thanks for the responses stunned-dad, avondale, and kristawny. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Yes, I have been here for long time.... hmmm.... some days I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Back when I was in plan A, I posted EVERYTHING on here. When my H and I reconciled, I told him that if ever he wanted to know ahead of time what I was up to (during our separation), that all he should have done, was to check it out on here. I thought it funny that he never did... even though I asked him to read the site, and he said he did, and yet, he obviously did NOT or else he would have had the 'heads up' on what I was up to. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Well... at the time when I was getting my "plan" together to leave him (talking to the abused womens shelters and counsellors etc), he decided to "check up on me". Sure enough.. he was reading here... and even on the night I fled with the boys to the shelter, he quoted, WORD FOR WORD, things I had typed on here within a few days previous. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> It scared me into realising that I no longer had my safe place to vent.

Yes, I do have various email addresses for some long time members on here... most of whom post still... although not as frequently as we would like to see them do so. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> And I have used that method to "vent" in the past (specifically when I was in the shelters, and using a library computer to keep in touch with folks). Maybe I will do that again soon. Thanks for the reminder... I just hate to bug 'em (and ya'll know who you are <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ).

As far as the secondary account on here, no, I could not use that method, as the things I would want input on are relevant to my entire situation, and I'd have to give away who I was anyways. Granted, just the basic background info alone would let people know it was me.... well... for those that already know my story. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Anyone else?

Karen

How about some other message boards around? Not that knowledgable about other boards (haven't been on any) but have seen a few. Does Divorcebusters have one?

I keep from giving too many details about the OW just in case she gets on boards. Funny, I'm protecting her some. She was lied to and victimized too, and has stayed away. But I shouldn't feel too badly, my H was a rebound relationship after she got out of an R with another MM.

Karen,

This is public forum run privately ... anything posted her could be used against you. I withheld info <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> too. I won't disclose it until the info is obsolete and can't be used against me. Anything else I hide nothing on my feeling about my Ex or OM. Too bad if they are hurt ... their emotional well being is none of my concern. My post/reply would be the same w/ or w/o a possiblities of exW or OM lurking. This is "MY SPACE" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> .

For sensitive issues that might have legal ramification, use private emails to your MB supports to vent ... I am sure you have some <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> .

-rh-

Hi Topie!!!

Sometimes I withhold some info that I post here for personal reasons too...

H got MB address, I don't know if he is reading at all... naaaaaahh I don't think so. But until is safe for me to post all the info I won't do...
So don't be that hard on urself and only post what u fel is safe... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

K,

Email Me.

K

Originally posted by Topie25:
Just a mini vent and a question: does anyone else on here withhold sharing (possibly) pertinent information about their situations.

I withhold posting period. I don't want to come on here and sound too whiney or make my H out to be some uncaring human monster <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> . I also admit that I don't talk to him because of a fear I have of nagging him. "Why are you always angry?" "Why do you always walk out of a room when I walk in?" "When are you going to spend some couple time with me?" I don't know what to say to him. And I already know he has some kind of problem himself because he'll try to joke about it, but I don't see anything funny. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
Fee-Fee

StillHereMakingIt: I haven't even thought of finding other message boards on the internet. I can't imagine that they would follow similar guidelines and principles as MB does. Thanks for the idea though! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

redhat: Yup... I do have some email addresses of fellow MBers. I'm thinking I'll use that method soon. I'm holding back on sharing certain details for similar reasons as you... I don't want anything used against me at this time. I too, don't give a hoot about how H is affected emotionally by all of this either. That's HIS problem. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

matilde: Yes, I continue to only post what I feel is safe to do so. Thankfully there are gals such as yourself who are there to listen to me in the ladies chat room. That helps me a lot. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

H2Y: You're on my list, don't worry! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I'll vent to you in icq too... again!!! LOL

TopsyTurvey: Anyone who uses MB to post regularly, understands that this is a great place to vent out frustrations. That's how I got through d-day and my (so called) plan A... and even the early stages in recovery. It's far better to let it out on here, than to blow up at our spouses. However, if there is a good chance that writing it out on here could get you in trouble (so to speak) with your S, then you're better off journalling somewhere more private. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

-------------------------

Thanks everyone, for validating my position... AGAIN!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Karen