Hi all, I had a rough night at work. 24hrs is too long to think. I did not talk to her at all. she did not answer her phone. The last time I talked to her she was crying about the flowers.

I just wantesd to check on her. If she calls today I am gonna tell her in person that this hurts so much. I have tried to show her that I have changed. But she continues to go see her "friend". I cant prove it is a guy, but 99.999999% sure of it. We have spent so much quality time together.

I will tell her " I want this to work out. We have come a long way I think. You have stayed with me, we havew slept like tangled weeds. I know that we havew not had sex, but just beibg with you was great. I cant prove that you are seeing someone else, but you secretive talking, makes me believe that there is. If these are just friends, why dont you let me meet them, ehy dont you tell me there names.

I want this to work out, and are willing to do what ever it talke to make this work. This pain I feel is to great. I have to do the hardest thing I am gonna do in my life.

I am letting you go do what you have to do. When and if you want to work this out call me, and we can talk.

It is hard for me to be there just when you need me for somthing, although I do want to take care of you, and then you just leave to go see your freinds.

So with good bye, I love you forever and always.

<small>[ June 01, 2003, 08:11 AM: Message edited by: pbrown30 ]</small>

Paul,
I am not real good at helping with letters, so I will bump this one up to get you better help, ok?

L.

Write Plan B letter & post it here BEFORE you send it.

pbrown30,

IMVHO, you are not ready for plan B, sorry. You just need a break from your W ... a short weekend get away. You are burned out from the job plus this plan A. She is still confused, I would hold on for a bit longer. I was a veggie head when all of this happened and 2 months later I have to take a week long skiing trip to take a breather ... it last me about 4 months before she filed.

Draft your letter, let other review it. At least will buy you sometime.

-rh-

Redhat, well I held out like you said. Last sunday she went to church with me. The Pastor talked about "TRUTH". It waws mind blowing. she just squeezed my hand, and said "I am such a sinner!".

that night she was at my house, she said she had somthing to tell me. She spilled her guts.

She told me she had been seeing this guy. the one I suppected. she said it was just business and led further.

now, she said she wantes to be with me and no one else. She sees this guy in school ( he is the clinical cordinator). she has to finish school. I told her I did not want her talking to him. She said she wouyld clear it up. Also she works a side job with him. Should she quit. the money is good, but I dont want to trake any chances of this comming back

Absolutely NO Contact whatsoever. Was she sleeping with him?
Actually it does not matter. She was willing to lie and betray you for this man. No Contact is absolutely essential or the chances are great she will fall back with this man. Good luck.

pbrown30,

Follow how A should ends !. NC is numero uno ... unless your value $$$ more than your M and your emotional health. Your W fallen to A b/c she doesn't know how to protect her self ... you need this NC for your own healing ... this is the ammend from your W for your M not just for you but for both of you. Learn MB tools, like POJA and others ... start follow the 4 rules of recoveries. Remember she is in withdrawal for a while and will start from zero again everytime she is in contact w/ OM. Some couples even have to move to different city just to stay away from "the trigger" that would remind the WS of OP. The danger in here is that OM is not the one cutting the ties and LB'ed to your W.

Get your W agrees to write NC letter (cut & dry) and you bring it to OM and tell him to stay away ...

Good luck ... -rh-

^^BUMP ... how are you doin' big boy ? -rh-