Is a marraige able to rebuild if you have had a child with the OM.
If it is not rebuildable where do you go from there.

Yes it can IF there is an equal willingness on the part of BOTH to save the marriage. You may want to post this over at the infidelity pregnancy/child board because there are ladies over there that are in your shoes.

lucidity,

I just read your other post ( Sorry ) and it touched my heart. If your husband read it, well - maybe he has heard a lot of things from you in the past and it would be hard for him to believe, but I can't help but think it would touch his heart too.

I though I knew who your H is (on this site), but he never mentioned that you had a child with your Other Man (OM). How long have you been separated? It seems impossible that he doesn't, but does your H know? Does OM know? Is this child with you or is he/she with your H? Are you PG now?

You seem so sincere. If you were my W and said these things, I would be trying hard to take you back. Don't give up. Restoration may be in sight.

May God bless your efforts at reconciliation.

-AD

Hello lucidity,

Yes, I believe it is entirely possible. I believe that learning the MB concepts and putting them into practice, especially when it is the hardest to do that, makes marriage rebuilding go from "possible" to "probable".

I read your other post. I think it is beautiful, something I would have loved to hear from my FWH--if it was followed up by sincere rebuilding efforts, especially when the going got tough.

I think the real question is what are you willing to DO? My FWH wants to have a terrific marriage with me--but he doesn't want to learn how to do his part of that while I am learning my part. Do you want to do your part lucidity? Does your BS want to do his/her part? If the answer to both of these questions is "YES!" then I am happy for both of you, because it will only be a matter of time before you have a marriage that is wonderful and fulfilling for both of you.

Take care lucidity.

Ofcourse marriages are rebuildable...sometimes they aren't rebuilt...but born again...something so new and different they have very little in common with the old marriage...

It is our actions that will speak our selves and define who we are and what we believe and are willing to sacrifice for...

If you make each and every action part of a bigger plan of rebuilding a relationship...then it becomes you.

You should try to stop and rethink each and every move of yours before you do it...and measure it up against whether it is something that is a positive thing in re-building....

i would move mountains to be with my children...and then I would move those mountains again to be and do what is best for them...

look at your present actions...and see what they say about you..and change those that are in direct conflict with repairing your marriage...

small baby steps.;
imagine being the wife/mother you envision and move slowly towards that goal..

much grace to you..
ARK

lucidity-

I am praying for you and H2Y...

I've been there in your shoes...It's not hopeless but you have to really believe and really be willing to work at it.

If you need to chat offline, my email is KILY_MB@hotmail.com

God Bless and good Luck

lucidity,
ANYTHING can be done, IF you want to badly enough AND you have support and the tools with which to do it.

No one can promise easy or soon, however.

Truth + Grace (TIME) = healing

Large doses of truth, honesty, REALNESS coupled with LOTS of mercy and forgiveness OVER MUCH time will lead to wholeness, healing and happiness.

It takes but a step...

Cali