This is our latest interaction. After our last meeting where I respected her unwillingness to talk, I let her think for two days. Recent developements here prompted me to email her:

(Me)
Not trying to infringe upon your space here, just thought I'd update you as to my status. Just in case part of you cared I figured I owed it to you.

It's looking like they are going to keep me here at [safer place than I was with email and phone].

Bye

Me

(her)
Listen I don't need you to lay on the sarcacism and the guilt trips. It makes me really frustrated and upset and messes me up even more I am sorry that I haven't had time to write you back and do everything you have asked of me. [EN Questionnaire] You hardly ever had time to write or contact me when you got there when I had the time and opportunity and now I am up here at [office] working my a$$ off and I don't have computer time that you have to mess around now. I appreciate your stepping back and letting me have the space that I have asked for but you can't be bitter about it everytime you talk to me and expect me to continue to be grateful! We have...... and I am going to be swamped. I don't have time to deal with anything else right now and I'll try and let you know when I resurface. I do care about you and what you are doin
WW

(Me)
You misunderstand.
No bitterness, no sarcasm, no guilt trips.

Also, if you want me to call you at all you should probably let me know when or how often otherwise I'm not going to bother. Don't read into this. I'm trying to be as direct and to the point as possible. There is no disrespect here, only information. It's that simple.

I need to move on.

I hope your work goes well for you. You always do a good job so I'm sure it will.

Take care,
Me

(Her)

I do want to know what is going on with you and where you are and how you are doing. I think for right now emails would be the best thing cause then I can read them when I get a chance and I get to choose my timing as to when I respond as well and that helps. I only ask that if you want to talk about issues in any of them you specify in the subject and if it is just bullsh* or info that they start it with "hey" or "whats up"...

My mom called today and she had almost gotten a ticket out here for this weekend. She is freaking out and wants to come out here and talk to me. So she may try and come out next weekend while [Aunt] is down in [city] since I was planning on going down there to see her. So we will see how that works out. Anyway I have to run and go take a bottle of pain meds cause my head wants to explode right now. I smacked it on the edge of a filing cabinet earlier and the pain is starting to shoot from my head down my neck. Gotta run
WW

Oh yeah, mom knows of this site and may have seen the Sep Letter Draft so I hope she's not freaking about that. I do know that she wants her daughter to be honest with her for a change and she knows what's going on. She's not stupid. She directly asked me about it when I last talked with her intending only to give my own side and to say nothing of the A. So, if she does go down there she'll be confronting W about what's going on.

Well, TMCM, H2Y, anyone, Bueller <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> ? What do you think?

Can you believe this soap opera is my life!? I can't.

Thanks for any feedback. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You kept your cool and acted instead of reacted. Keep up the good job DW.

Thanks for the encouragement.
One thing I've discovered about myself is that encouragement drives me to excel.
Of course I also see this as one of my weeknesses.
Go figure.

Well since you addressed this to the "Judges..", let me take this into our 'court', where I can speak comfortabley from a perspective of training and some experience.

For instance, police officers are trained to handle only about 30% of the situations that they will encounter over a lifespan of a career. Continual repititions training will increase that number from 30% to maybe somewhere around 40 - 45%.

Well, understanding this, this becomes a prosecuting or defense attorney's weapon when an officer of the state, city or county finds themselves in the witness stand. Attorney's will fire questions at the officer such as; "When the perpetrator produced the weapon, how did you REACT?" The officer, if he is trained correctly will respond, "Sir, I did not REACT to the the perpetrator when he produced a weapon from his waistband; rather, I clearly RESPONDED with the authority vested in me by the state of (say) Texas, to within the law, and the limits of the training I have received from a licensed state run and accredited Law Enforcement Academy, to stop the perpetrators actions, as I have been properly trained to do."

What the attorney in the court is trying to do is show that the officer reacted, over reacted, or hypereacted to a situation, instead of relying on his training. Really the attorney is just playing a word game to catch the officer for a later cross examination. But, it applies here.. (sorta) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You see when you react to something, its almost instinctive, animalistic, autocontrol. Reaction is substandard to Respond. Responding to a situation or to someone and what they do, say, act, behave, or don't do, is handled more effectively from a calculated Response than from an uncalculated ReAction

That is why I beleive that coming here to the MB site is instructional in our behavioral learning and training in responding to others. Instead of overreacting, reacting or flying off at the handle, those here who continually respond and interact in the community on a large scale, have fewer problems than those who don't interact here as much (receiving populiticated training - dealing with people).

You have already been reading everything you can here at MB and you are Responding with the correct actions, RATHER than the INCORRECT REACTION(S).

I think that you did great in dealing with your wife. On a side note, if your plan A'ing her, and I think that you should be, 7000 miles away as you are, Try to be a little softer and not so sharp and direct with your verbage.

I understand military, you understand military and so does she, but try and 'fluff' the conversation just a little to not come off to her like your being harsh, uncaring and 'indirect'.

Other than that I think that you did a great job.

Keep up the good work.. and if you want me or someone else to come and respond to a post, don't hide internally, call us out on the subject line to get us over here immediately.

Be safe, Be strong

<small>[ June 05, 2003, 01:18 AM: Message edited by: Husband2you ]</small>