my h has not been taking care of his bills,car is overdue, i dont drive it so it doesnt really bother me, actually i wouldnt mind if they repoed it! how would that make him look in ow eyes, they showed up about three moths ago to take it, he had to hide it and couldnt drive, so he just didnt go to work, i know so he wouldnt have to explain to ow why he couldnt take her to lunch or drive her home! his mom bailed im out that time giving him 1,300 $ to pay his ballance. i think its up to the same amount again! anyway our phones are about to get turned off, cell phones and home phone, he called me to ask me what are we going to do? i caled phone company to ask for extension they said no, phones will b turned off tomorrow if we dont pay the 214$ past due. the house phone is about 100$. he asked if i knew anyone with money i told him no, he asked if i had money and i said i do, but i had been saving it,sat is my birthday im turning 35, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> and we planned on going to see kenny chesney friday night.i have ben saving this money for a long time, and i think i deserve to go, and know im being a little selfish but SO WHAT!!
so i told him i know who has money but i wont ask for you you have to ask for yourself he said who? i told him my mom, he just said "no i can do without my phone, i guess you bettr call everyone and tell thiem you wont have a hone for awhile" so i just left it alone i dont need my cell phone as long as i know i have the house phone on, so i called my mom and told her what was going on she agreed to help me with the house phone,she would help with the cell phones but there is no way to pay just our phones and not his. myself and 16yod.
he only uses it to call ow anyway! oh and me late at night.i wouldnt mind him not being able to call,sometimes i dont want to answer but i feel bad, so i pick up. i almost called him back to tell him i would ask my mom for him,then i thought no! why should i help him! at least i noe he wont b able to call ow! and he will really lonely at his appartment all by himself!
im feeling a little weird,not weird just like i dont care anymore, i just feel like go ahead do whatever you want, i got my own life now i dont need you in it! i dont have that longing to b with him, or hear his voice, or that constant wondering about how he feels about me,the thought of him and ow being together doesnt even bother me anymore? its just like i could care less what he does.
yesterday i ttok the kids to mil for sunday dinner, its been a tradition for awhile, the whole family gets together on sunday. we agreed i wouldnt b going anymore, he called my phone to tell me what time to come, i didnt answer my phone because i didnt here it ring, he caled my d told her i told her to tell him iwould b dropping them off he caalled my phone again still didnt hear it, he called my d again toinvite me to eat with them, i said no thanks, he asked why? i just shook my head. i didnt feel like going? a while back i would have jumped at the invitation, but yesterday i had no desire to go and b with him.
WHY? does anyone know what i mean? do you have the samefeelings? can you help me understand?
then last night he calls me to talk, i think he wanted to come by or have me got o him but the kids were up late, since they are out of school.
just a little confused by these new feelings im having, can anyone help? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I get like that sometimes too. Just yesterday, before WH got here for another visit I was thinking, this is ok, if I go to Plan B, I will be ok with it. And I often have days like that, where I feel very calm and accepting. And those days occur more often as time goes on.
BUT they don't call this a rollercoaster ride for nothing!!!
By the time WH showed up at S's b-ball game, I could tell something was up. He accused me of once again giving OW's H some info, which I didn't. I left the game pretty angry. The rest of the night I was a basket case, angry phone calls to OW, her H, my family, who I suspect are giving OW's H info, that puts WH in a bad light, but makes my life miserable.
WE too are having financial problems. Have a bankruptcy lawyers appt. this afternoon. I told WH this morning, I will work through all of this with you as a couple. We've worked through this stuff before. But it really ticks me off if I am doing this so that you can start a new life.
Anyways, after an emotional start this morning, I am now at work and again feeling calmer. Most of this is out of our hands anyways. I just need to keep my reactions from getting out of hand, like the phone calls, probably all unnecessary, I felt better at the time, but it only makes things worse. And I've really alienated my brothers and sister & parents over this, but sometimes they really overstep the boundaries thinking they are helping when they are actually making it worse.
So go with it, these feelings of calm. They will come and go for a while. Eventually, we will be in a better place. Just need to work through the rough spots.
Hang in there.