rlyhurtin here's an explanation on what an exit affair is as well as other types of affairs:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">In her book on this topic, Emily M. Brown, a licensed social worker, asserts that most affairs fall into one of five categories. These categories help to explain the reason behind an affair - why it happened - and the problems that need to be taken care of if the relationship is to improve:
* The conflict avoidance affair.
When couples don't discuss what is bothering them, problems in the marriage never get addressed or resolved. Typically in these relationships, irritation is expressed, but open conflict is avoided. When differences come to light, they are quickly dropped. This is so because spouses are afraid that conflict might lead to abandonment.
* The intimacy avoidance affair.
Some couples are afraid of emotional closeness, and fighting is one way to avoid getting close. Getting close means exposing one's innermost feelings, desires, and ideas and risking criticism, rejection, or abandonment. Emotional connection between partners in this kind of marriage is through blaming, faultfinding, and arguments that can sometimes escalate into violence.
* The sexual obsession affair.
Individuals obsessed with sex may use it to fill up an emotional emptiness or to numb inner pain. They see sex as an escape from their despair. Unfortunately, the good feeling never lasts very long, so it becomes necessary to look for the next sexual opportunity. The person obsessed with sex may have numerous affairs during his or her adulthood.
* The self-sacrifice affair.
When people devote themselves to taking care of other's needs to the exclusion of their own, they may very well come to a point where they feel they've sacrificed long enough and want some pleasure for themselves. Frequently these individuals have tried to orchestrate every aspect of their family's lives. As a result, their children and mate may view them as controlling and demanding rather than being grateful for their extensive involvement. Such people sometimes begin affairs as a way to restore some passion in their lives and to feel more appreciated.
* The exit affair.
When a marriage deteriorates beyond the point of repair, an exit affair is a way to end it. The affair provides the justification for the unfaithful spouse to leave. It also distracts this spouse from the pain of ending his or her marriage, and provides comfort and solace. This type of affair often occurs in marriages where the couple's style of relating to each other is to dodge problems and avoid conflict. Individuals who pursue this course of action frequently have unresolved issues around loss and endings.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
