Okay I have another question..hope some of you answer my other question on my other thread.

The OW e-mails and IM's my WH's screen name. Sometimes I am sitting there when this happens because we may be playing a game or something.

Anyway, here is my question: I can block her from sending e-mailing to my WH's screen name. I have been firmly setting some boudaries since the Friday nite epidsode. I feel as though there is no need for this. Its my AOL account. Why should I allow her to invade our home like this. Its his A not mine therefore I feel as though I should do this, but I just dont know how WH will react. Any comments.

L

All I can tell you is my WW blew a gasket when I tried to cutail some of the phone calls OM was making to our house(ours at the time, she is out now).

<small>[ June 17, 2003, 05:47 PM: Message edited by: hurting12 ]</small>

Lisa, absolutely you should block her. I agree it is an invasion of your home and hence, a boundary that shouldn't be breeched. Has your H agreed to NC? If so, why is she still contacting him at all?

Lisa, even if it is you can minimize its impact by calmly stating to your WH that you are not doing it so much out of spite but out of respect and peace of mind for yourself.

I am/was the OP, but by all means block the emails etc. LB or not. That is your home and your AOL account. tew

Do what it takes to make you feel safe. Is what the OW saying offensive? REport it to her e-mail provider.

L.

Thanks guys,

The e-mails are not offensive at all because they are too my WH and contact is still going on. I think I will block her and calmly tell him why I did it. At this point it has nothing to do with spite, I just want to continue to set boundaries and continue to feel at peace.

Thanks

L

<small>[ June 18, 2003, 08:02 AM: Message edited by: Lisa0705 ]</small>

I agree it is your account so you should block it and just set bounderies , IT is disrespectfull and that is not a LB .

BE well .
OH another question , I forgot I don't think you answered it .

DOES OW know he lives with you ? AND does she know you know ?

AND does she know you are working on M ?
HAVE you ever talked to her?

JUST some more back round for eveyone ..

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Lisa0705:
<strong>Thanks guys,

At this point it has nothing to do with spite, I just want to continue to set boundaries and continue to feel at peace.

Thanks

L</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Lisa, your motivations are NOT up for review here. It doesn't matter WHY you insist that an other woman does not invade your home life. It is a rightful boundary that you have a right to protect.

Hi Lisa,

I agree with the others. You have a right--and the responibility--to protect yourself and your home from "invasions".

When my FWH was involved with OP, I needed to set a boundary that prevented OP's phone# from showing up on my caller id (my kids could have seen it). FWH was respectfully requested to use his cell phone, and after a couple times of doing this I respectfully requested that he call from his cell phone away from OP's house and away from OP (which he did).

Btw, I discovered much later that OP had a huge problem with this (which I was able to use to give OP opportunities to LB FWH--which, of course, she did <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ). OP ended up "proving" that her motive was exactly what it looked like to me--to intrude in my home and with my kids. It didn't work because of the boundary I set for peace and safety in my home for my kids and myself.

Eventually my FWH could see this for what it was, and other things too, and thanked me for protecting our kids and their home when he was not able to.

Take care

{Lisa0705},

The advice everyone has given you is right on.

There is often little you can do when there is direct contact between WH and OW...
...an if you are Plan A-ing...
...then that contact (which you can allow - in a repulsive sort of way)...
...Never... ever has to be put IN YOUR FACE!

There are boundaries...
There are sensibilities...
There is a level of dignity...
...that may never be stepped over!!!

If you go beyond those boundaries...
...you will lose the sensitivity of your heart
...your heart will harden
...your chance to improve yourself in Plan A becomes counter-productive.

If you need to re-spell out to your WH what the limits are...
...do so lovingly
...do so caringly
...do so with the long term benefits of Plan A in mind.

The events of the OP... expressing affection to a WS... overtly (in person, by aim/e-mail, or any other way)... ...in the presence of the BS.... can be most definitely deemed as 'emotional abuse'. You (the BS) need not accept that abuse.

[oh yeah... my shoe size is a meager 10½].

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Jim/NSR

Lisa NSR just stated what I have been trying to say, so much better. You are entitled to some dignity and respect...what your H and OW is doing to you is abusive you do not have to allow that to successfully Plan A. Please don't allow them to make you lose yourself by their actions!

The only problem I would have with blocking her e-mails is that if you know your H is still in contact with her -- which is the biggest issue here -- I would then become paranoid because I have blocked it and now I know he is still in contact with her and what if he goes and gets a freebie e-mail account where I have NO idea whether there is still contact or not and then I start having anxiety, etc.

You see how CRAZY a person gets with all this??? Just wanted you to know that I think you HAVE to get the NO CONTACT thing going FIRST and FOREMOST because I don't think the contact is going to stop if he hasn't stopped it yet on his own.

I think he should agree to no contact and you need a Plan A.

?????????????

Sorry I have worked in the legal field all my adult life and tend to work a different (albeit paranoid) spin on things.....