I have heard the term 7 yr. itch and would like someone to explain it to me. My H & I were marrried for 8. Another question, I think he is feeling guilt now, will it get worse for him or will he learn to live with it?<P>Thanks

There have been loads of studies about the passages of marriage. One passage happens around the 7 year mark- hence the term, "7 year itch". It is a time when a marriage is "more" vulnerable to outside influences -an affair. So, one partner may "scratch" the "itch" and have an affair. My H did, as a matter of fact. Right in the middle of year 7.<P>For some reason, couples struggle through that year, and also around year 15, and 20, which coincidently coinsides around the time of mid-life crisis. I did, as a matter of fact, two months after my 40th birthday.<P>Anyone else care to chime in?? <P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

3 was bad. This year (7) was horrible. better now, please don't say again at 15!<BR>But there were 3 girls I worked with all divorced in year 7. <BR>Go Figure.

Middle of year four was when Petunia's affair happened (I guess that's 3 1/2 yrs, cuz our fourth anniversary was this past September).<P>If it happens again at 7 and then again at 15, I don't know if we'll survive! I think, however, that this experience has made us a little more wary of the traps one can fall into.<P>------------------<BR>/// Lone Star * ///<P>

First problems in marriage developed about two months shy of my 7th wedding anniv. First confrontation about possible affair with my W was approx 6 years later. Now I'm just past 15th anniv.<P>Oh, my wife just turned 40 this summer.<P>Coincidence?! <P>-- keystone

My H went into depression at about year 8. His affair started at almost 19 years. In our case, there was a strong correlation between debt level and his unhappiness, more than years of marriage.

The seven year itch found us too. It was year seven that H started to express his unhappiness and dissatisfaction with our marriage - said he didn't feel loved but couldn't articulate what it was he wanted.<BR>Year 14 is when he had his affair. <BR>I will really be on heightened alert around year 21! <BR>Celebrating our 15th anniversary today.<BR> simone<p>[This message has been edited by Simone (edited November 13, 1999).]

The itchy 7 year itch thing hit us also...BIG time!<BR>My H ahd an affair then as well. I think it correlates with kids not being "babies" anymore...and the "is this all there is syndrome".<P>We are WELL into recovery....9 GREAT months.. <P>For us, it was the culmination of the end of medical school, residency and all for my H. And finally into a "real" job (a.k.a. private practice) for him. He met a YOUNG nurse at the hospital (oh so typical) and had an affair. <P>Now that I am reading "In the Meantime" by Iyanla Vanzant (GREAT book, by the way), I can see we were both in survival mode while he was in training. I was doing all I could to keep the hous and kids in order and he was doing all his studying, working hellacious hours, leaving ZERO time for the two of us. We forgot who were were, never really knew for that matter. Than WHAM...as soon as he was through with all the mess, we said, "Oh, God, is this all there is?" We had the typical American mind set..."It will be better when.....(fill in the blank here, does not matter what your when is). <P>So there you have it...my .02 cents. The seven year itch is a real thing, it gets itchy, you gotta scratch, or you'll never get "there". And there meaning a good place. And for Pete's sake...I DO NOT mean you gotta have an affair! Just dig and you will find the truth.<P>GOD BLESS!<P>------------------<BR>You will be stronger because of this.<P>

My w said she has been unhappy for 10 yrs, That would make it 6 yrs into our marriage. This year, our 16th, when she turned 41, she had the affair and effectively ended our marriage.

Count me in too...affair happened 2 mo shy of our 7 yr anniversary. We're back together now and its going great. There is no way in h**l I can go through this again at 15. Could there really be something to this 7 yr itch or is it coincidence?? who knows??

Although we had only been married one year when my H had his affair, we had been together for almost seven. I guess there is something to it!

Yup...7yr hit my wife too. It really stinks when it's so predictable. She would like to say that it has been years in the making but funny how OM showed up right around yr 7

how about the seven month itch? thats when H met OW at least....<BR>i heard the same as sally, that it has something to do with the age of the children abd how they become less of a burden at that age (we're talking caveman times, prior to videogames and nikes....hahaha).<BR><P>------------------<BR> <A HREF="http://www.alladvantage.com<BR>ID#" TARGET=_blank>www.alladvantage.com<BR>ID#</A> atp-113<P>

Count me in too. Follow my history and my wife started her EA in the 7th year also. Didn't they make a movie about the 7 year thing with Marylin Monroe?

AD and folks,<BR>I just read somewhere that with the world moving at a faster pace so do the things within it. Hence the "7 year itch" has changed to the "5th" year. Which is where my W and I are. Seems alot of couple are going through problems around that time ( year 5 )<P>------------------<BR>Rutger......One day at a time.<P><BR>

Things ended rather suddenly for me, 25 days short of our 9th anniversery. We had been a "unit" for 11.5 years. Our children were 4 and 2.

Gotta chime in here too.....<P>for us, it was the 9 year itch ! What I'm hoping, in retrospect (smile, smile), is that we unknowingly missed the 5, the 7 and are now successfully PRE-maneuvering thru the 10. (and there is no way in he*% that I'll be coasting with my eyes closed at year 15 !!!<P>Thankfully, we're all alot more in-tune to what created the lack of connectedness such as babies, family committments, careers, building the home-life, long hours apart...and a bunch of other stuff. <P> For us too....the "emptiness" of the arrival hit really hard. You finally get to a place that you have worked really hard to get to .....yet, you no longer know your spouse or know how to enjoy each other !!!<P>-Tina <P>

For my Wife it was 9 years (she was 27) and 18 years (she was 37). Beginning to wonder if there were any others now though)<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

RATS!!!! Does this mean I have to wait seven years to see my Ex-H's marriage to the OW break up?!?!? I was hoping for it to happen a little sooner - who knows, he might just stay married and be miserable!! Either outcome would serve him right!!!