My wife left just over 3 months ago after admitting an affair with a married man. Her affair is no crumbling as he wants to work on his marriage.

Has anyone experianced this situation.

She walked out and since has little to no contact with me. Once a week at first then recently she claims she needs space and will not be calling me and I should not call her and just move on, that's it no I don't love you's or your a SOB or did this wrong.

She broke contact with me just after her affair was falling apart (two weeks now).

Other than Dday I've remained calm when talking to her and tried to fill the love bank the best i can but never got a thank-you for anything. Everything she's doing tells me she doesn't care about me or our relationship. Won't talk about the affair or any of our other communictaion issues.

I'm totaly stonewalled and feel incredable isolated, unloved and punished for some reason. It's as though I've become cancer in her life and the best way to deal with it is cut it out then ignore it.

Our marriage has had communication prblems but I can honetly say she's always been the one not wanting to talk or look for solutions. Probable why she had the affair.

Will I ever get any closure or will I likely have to heal alone?

Hello goodguy007 -- This is all still pretty fresh and it may take her a bit to open up to you. I think you are doing well so far by not pursuing or pushing a conversation and letting her go through what is essentially withdrawal. It is unlikely she is going to try and open up to you while she is in this state.

This will be a hard time for you, but the best thing you can do is go about your life and hope she comes around. There is nothing you can do to speed this up, but I do believe there is still hope.

Have you read Surviving an Affair? You can order it off of the website here at MB or it is also available at many chain bookstores. I think it would be a big help in your situation. You are actually quite lucky that the OM has decided to end this.

Best to you. I know it's frustrating.

gg,

There are many stages of grief, and your wife is feeling grief over many things right now...most certainly the affair, her trust of the OM, her loss of ego, etc. Withdrawing is definitely one of the normal stages. Unsure is right, it can't be rushed, and if you try to...she will withdraw farther. The best you can do is to assure her that you would like to help, but that you won't push or impose yourself on her. This really isn't about you....it's all about her. She can't see your pain or your needs because grief is selfish in it's way. Let her make her way through it, and when she does, you'll have a more realistic idea about what the futute holds. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Sending you huge cyber hugs ((((((good guy)))))

star*fish, unsureheart

Thanks,

I can only assume she is going through the same pain I went through when she left. Likely has more on her plate as well.

Looking back I was like a zombie - don't remember much of what I did, said or thought.

Just hard not knowing where your futures going and many times it seems more difficult think how hard a time she must be having and I can't help her out.