I haven't been here for awhile. D-day was 16 months ago. H told me many stories but sticks to the fact he is a sex addict (fantasizing and masturbating to women he knew). For a few months he would only kiss me on the forehead and never initiated sex. Where before it was an everyday thing. He didn't make love to me, only had sex with me. When I told him how I felt he was insulted and said people change deal with it. Distance from kids and myself.
When he first told me about another woman he said he thought about leaving me for her. He than took it back and said he just fantasized about her wanting him even though he was married and masturbated to her. During this time he was doing work for her and she called telling him she had a friend over and wanted to ask him a question about something he had said, that her friend commented on also. I thought it kind of strange. I almost felt like she was calling to tell him I have another man over. She even asked if he wanted to talk to her friend. Why? It was only a business associate, according to my husband, only spoke about business. Funny, but if she called the house and I answered the phone, I couldn't stand the sound of her voice. I'm not a jealous person but she really bugged me.
He also told me he fantasized and masturbated to other women he knew.
For some reason I don't feel I've gotten all of it. He still tries to justify it even though he apologizes.
We have been seeing a counselor for about a year now. It has helped but H still tells me didn't know he was doing anything wrong. He loved me and wanted me. Hard to beleive with all the distance and telling me to deal with the way he is. He also criticized my hair, makeup, dress, etc. It was all his addiction. Basically telling me I'm innocent of everything it was my addict. I'm sorry. I've read alot about addictions but I'm still unsure if it was fantasy or affair. He has never told me any truth unless he has been put into a corner without a way out.
How long does this mistrust last? When can I tell myself he has told me all of it when it just doesn't make sense? Does the craziness I'm feeling ever stop?
Trust is a big issue for me. I don't know whether to believe it was all fantasy, as he says.
