How are you? We are here, call, lunch??

Let us know how you are...? We CARE! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Honey, thanks for thinking of me. I come to the boards and read on a regular basis, but do not post because WH has used my posts against me and has even threatened to sue me for libel & slander for what I have posted here. Although I would have many procedural and substantive defenses, as well as a good countersuit, if he were to do so, it is easier for me to just avoid any basis for conflict.

Right now, WH is on the other side of the pond visiting his family and OW. Yesterday, I called there to tell him he had not received a check he should have received in the mail on Friday. During the conversation, he told me that he is having a great time, is not coming back today as originally stated, has seen OW and even introduced her to his Dad and the rest of his family. This news absolutely devastated me. I do not understand how any of them - especially, WH and OW - can look at themselves in the mirror, knowing that they have broken my heart and are relegating my little boy to a broken home.

Thanks for asking about me.

BB

Hi BB
Sorry to hear about your news... but did you expect that your H is skipping over the pond just to pick some daisies here in the UK?
Maybe you read my updates - me too, I'm getting regularly surprised, how easily a decade of living together, a family life involving a child, can be chugged out of the rear window to be traded in with a deceitful relationship, how easy you place is taken by an ersatz-husband (or ersatz-babe, in your case), history changed, erased and altered, good bye and ciao, no hard feelings and all.
Cheers
N

Hi Nick,

No, I didn't think he was hopping over the pond to pick daisies. I knew he would be seeing OW. The thing that has me devastated is how readily his family has taken her in - I AM STILL HIS WIFE!!!! In fact, just before he left, he spent the weekend with DS and I and there was a lot of affection on his part - yes, SF, which OW knows about. Also, he told me to, "Just be patient with him and give him some time to get 'this situation' out of his system." Then, just days later, he has introduced OW to his family.

I know his family and he are justifying this all by saying that we are separated and I threw him out. The thing is, I DON'T WANT TO BE SEPARATED but a person can only put up with so much before they have to draw a line. I guess its just easy to throw the old out like yesterday's trash and move on to the new...

BB

Hi BB-

Glad to hear from you. He is sooo fogged. I know that is classic MB talk, but it is very true.

I am sorry that he has taken this trip, but it is part of the A behavior to avoid reality and a seek life of fun, fun, fun. He is seeking a respite from reality in my humble opinion.

If he is like my H in any way, he is a great guy who is loads of FUN.... however when it comes down to responsibilities and grown up stuff that is hard for all of us... he just wants to chuck it out the window- BE Young, and HAVE FUN....

AW.... where is reality.?

I am thinking of you and hoping it gets better. I am glad to hear he is returning.

Consequences will drive some change. My wh is coming more my way and acting better as of late.. he has been experiencing quite a few negative consequences of his behavior- and only a few imposed by me.

The question is, can I put up with his childish behaviors?/ Will he grow up?

I still love him, I know you love your h too. Hope is being sent your way. It is not over until it is over. He is still very much married to you, and has said he wants to get this out of his system. Put down your boundaries as you are doing, and be the strong BB you are! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Being a kind person often makes us BS's accept too much... at least in my case.

Hugs, Honey

Hey BB;
Sorry to hear this news. Obviously seeing her has re-ignited the fog and the rest of the fantasy, and I'm sorry for that.
You hang in there and take care of yourself...try not to let this dip of the rollercoaster dampen your spirits!

Hey BB,

I don't have any wisdom for you either. I just wanted you to know that I am sad for you and your S.... <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Time will heal your wounds.

Gib

<small>[ June 23, 2003, 06:35 PM: Message edited by: Gibby1 ]</small>

Thank you, all, for your thoughts. I can safely say, without fear of verbal attacks from WH or threats of a lawsuit from him, that I am very sad my marriage didn't even survive the 3 year mark. We will be married 3 years on July 8. Technically, I am still a newlywed. My wedding gown is still hanging in the closet, yet to be packed away. A photo album with snapshots from our wedding is still out on display. Most importantly, even after everything that has happened over the last year and a half (WH initiated contact with OW on 12/5/01), I still love my husband very very much and the happiness and "happily ever after" love that I felt on our wedding day are still very much alive in my heart.

BB

Hey BB
I see exactly what you feel.... the anger of what happened, the dissappointment of being robbed of something beautiful in future... right? Well, we're all in the same boat here I guess. Try to save it - if that doesnt work, back to square one and try again :-) It would be quite funny actually, if it wasnt so sad.
N

Good morning, Nick!

Thanks for caring. You're right...as Topie put it on her post about her anniversary...its the what could have beens and what should have beens. When he woke up, DS was walking around saying, "Dada, where are you?" over and over and over again. I called WH's mobile, so that DS could hear Dada's voice, but DS pushed the disconnect button after only a few words. When rang back, it rolled over to voice mail, so I left a message that if he wanted to talk to DS, he could call him at the child minders today.

While I was getting DS dressed to start our day, he told me, "Dada bye bye." So so sad. WH has not concept of how this all is affecting our son. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Regards to all - your messages mean everything to me.

BB

<small>[ June 24, 2003, 07:02 AM: Message edited by: Brit's Brat ]</small>

This is the second time I've heard where someone mentioned that they were being threatend with libel and slander. How could they make that happen. They would have to prove that they were hurt by it. Since we do not use names, how do we know who is who. How would that person have been hurt by it. I don't have a law degree, I took a basic law class (not a class for lawyers or paralegals eihter) 20 years ago, so this does not qualify me to interprete the law in any way. My understanding of libel and slander is that it would have to be proven that the person sufferred some sort of damage or harm by others knowing about it. It would also have to be false information (I think).

How can that be if names are not generally used?

Just a question.

Hi Sue,

Yes, the things you point out are very true, which is why I said I would have many substantive defenses. I am a lawyer and can tell you that in all states, truth is a defense. Moreover, as you point out, the person has to be able to prove that others knew who he/she was and that their repuation was adversely affected by the falsehoods. Anything that is expressed as an opinion or a feeling cannot form the basis for libel and slander.

Nonetheless, I choose not to give WH anything more to yell at me about.

BB