OK so last weekend my WH and I and the three kids went to a family party (his side) it was his grandmas bday and also no one had met our 9 month old yet so we went as a family. We had a really good time, we got along all day. ON THE way there in the car he even took notice of me in a sexual way...he wont have sex with me its as if he feels he would be cheating on OW (crazy or what). He got aroused on friday by me, but acted as though it was wrong and couldnt admit it. anyways, on the way home from the party..we were later leaving than planned...i felt like he couldnt wait to be away from me qand with OW..plans fell through he never got to see her ( must say i was very glad) sunday, he came over for the day as we had planned to do some work that needs to be done around home..again, another very good day..no arguing only getting along and having nice time..again..took some notice sexually, but seems to think it is wrong. now it seems as though since sunday anytime i have seen him i feel like he is in a hurry to be away from me, it is like he wants to see me for as little time as possible, I dont get it, i thot after such a nice weekend things might have changed a bit, but I guess i was wrong. On a positive note, I started IC and I joined a gyme and i am really loviong it, and have decided no matter what happens I am going to go and be better for me!! anyways..enough for now!!

michello, I have a feeling that there is some serious love busting coming from the OW and that explains your H's eagerness to get away quickly. I suspect she is putting enormous pressure on him, which can only work in your favor. Just keep doing what you are doing and work on attracting him back.

Melody, thanks...i hope that is the case..I have been doing pretty good not lovebusting..i have felt really sad the last few days but think I am doing good..i have not mentioned OW have not been bugging him with questions etc. I am not sure hiow much time he has had lately to see her as I pretty much have known where he is at all times...i am guessing phone is about all lately..i oculd be wrong! I am guessing she was likely upset that he never made it to see her saturday, I am hoping she nagged at him about it and showed him a little bit of the reality that he is not seeing right now!! He has not had sex with her,, it has just been emotional up to now, he says he does not want to sleep with anyone right now. it hurts that I aroused him but that he would not let anything happn...i feel like I am the OW and he feels like he is cheating on her if he lets his feelings for me escape. I know deep down he loves me, I hope he realizes soon!! She is also married with three children too...apparenlty was leaving husband this week just passed, I have not asked him if she actually did, but am hoping she did not..that woudl aso be reality for him!! He is a great dad with our three. looves them eith all his heart but has no patience for other kids..I am hoping they are brats and when he meets them it will make things harder too!!

Does her husband know about the affair?

michelleo_73,

I know how hurt you are when your WH doesn't want to cheat OW ... but it shows that he is not a cake eater, a good man taken by the alien. Don't get discouraged ... your plan A is confusing him ... it is working. Stick to it and no LB. Beleive me ... OW is feeling it right now.

good job. -rh-

OK first melody..no her husband does not know about the affair..apparently he knows she is moving out with their three kids...but i just asked my WH today if she had moved out yet (she was supposed to move out as soon as school wa sout for her kids..last week school ended) anyways, he said no she hadnt yet..I asked when he said he didnt know..apparently in the next week or two..interesting!! I casually mentioned how interesting it was that she was still with her H and not telling him about A and how my WH has moved out and is being so open with me about A...suggested even that they are liekly still having sex too ( maybe an LB but i didnt say it in a nasty way so maybe not)!!
And rh thanks again for replying to me...he is a good man, I know this to be true...it is just buried down deep right now!! I am jkeeping my hopes, but am also very discouraged and so lonely and hurt!

I hate it when he leaves, everytime he walks out the door again I feel so sad!! He took our older 2 fishing and will be back in a while to pick up baby for night as well..told him to be ehre before his bedtime as I am going out for the night ( not true but thot he might as well thjink I am having some fun, right??) So badly i want to be included in everything they do together, we used to do all this stuff as afamily, I miss it so much and cant help wonder why he doesnt miss it???

How hard is it for OW's H to find out? He has a right to know. Your part in that is up to you.

Keep looking good......then remind him of his 'celibacy' pact with _______?!?!?!??!?! Hm.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Last time I checked, the W seducing her H is not a crime. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

L.

Michello, if her H doesn't know, you need to change that REAL QUICK! You should be doing everything in your power to expose this affair to the light of day to help bring it to an end. The more light is thrown on it, the faster it will end. A secret cannot survive the light of day.

Telling the OWH will put pressure on it from that end. Its probably a lie that she is leaving that she has told your H. Talking to her H will expose that little fiction. He also needs to know that she is destroying him and his children behind their backs so he can take steps to protect himself from her.

orchid I agree her H should know, but i dont feel like i am the one to bring it out into the open, i am not wanting to anger my husband...and i know this will make him angry with me. I think things may be different if her H knew about my H though!
And I didnt think trying to seduce my h was a crime either..but apparently he seesm to think it is very wrong!!! I can arouse him, but he wont let it go any further and he acts uncomfoprtable when i try and touch him and "turn him on".

You haven't been covering up for him, have you? Just who have you told about this affair? This is not something you should keep secret. His friends and family should know.

well melody, like I mentioned to orchid I dont feel I should be the one to give this news to him...i know that it would make my husbband angry to find out I said anything, I dont want to have him angry at me, i want him to be happy with me and see me as tryiong to fix some things I need to work on!

Most of my H family knows about it...my family does...it is basically totally out in the open...besides her H and I dont know about her family etc! but no, I am not trying to cover for him at all!!! That wouldnt help anything

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by michelleo_73:
<strong>orchid I agree her H should know, but i dont feel like i am the one to bring it out into the open, i am not wanting to anger my husband...and i know this will make him angry with me. I think things may be different if her H knew about my H though!
And I didnt think trying to seduce my h was a crime either..but apparently he seesm to think it is very wrong!!! I can arouse him, but he wont let it go any further and he acts uncomfoprtable when i try and touch him and "turn him on".</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Michello, he is already angry at you! You may as well do something POSITIVE for both your marriage and the OWH's in order to justify that anger. While he might be angry for a short while, it will help put pressure on the affair to END by exposing it. Hopefully, thats what you want, right?

Yes with all my heart I want the affair over!! I love my husband more than anythuing!! He says he loves me but is not in love with me anymore...whatever, thats a load of crock!! I ams till very unsure about informing her H

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by michelleo_73:
<strong>well melody, like I mentioned to orchid I dont feel I should be the one to give this news to him!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I don't understand why not. Shouldn't the person who knows, whoever that may be, be the person to tell the victim they are being destroyed behind their back? Its not like his wife or your H are going to warn their victim.

what you are saying makes sense, it just really wories me that it will poush my H firther away from me than he is right now!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by michelleo_73:
<strong>what you are saying makes sense, it just really wories me that it will poush my H firther away from me than he is right now!!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Michelle, he is pulling away right now because there is no pressure for the affair to end. You need to do everything in your power to END this affair. What you need is someone from the other end to push him away. And as long as the affair remains secret, there will be no pressure.Often, when the OP's spouse finds out, the affair does not survive the light of day.

And sure he might be angry for a little while, but you can handle that if it means saving your marriage, right? Besides, he is angry NOW, so what is the difference?

ok...if i did decide to go ahead and bring it into open for OW H how would I go about doing it??

also..it kinda seems like telling OW H would kinda be like LBing?? no?