Jack:

I saw you logged in the "recent users" 2day, and was wondering how you're doing?

regards,
-2long (aka Qfwfq)

thanks for asking. i was just browsing out here and thought i'd pop in to see what was going on.

things are fantastic!

i moved on even though W wanted back and i'm getting married september 6th to my new love. most will think it's too fast after all i went through, but i know it's right.

exW went down the tubes, i'm sorry to say. she just got her 3rd dui last week and i went to my lawyer to start rolling for full custody of S. right now we share custody 3.5 days a week each but it really isn't working out with her running around and leaving him unsupervised most of the time. he's been running with a bad group since she moved out and i need to clamp down on him and bring him back. hopefully i'll get custody and straighten him out before it's too late.

thanks again for asking.

Jack

jack:

Sure, it's fast, but it is YOUR life. I remember your story, and could tell over the ether that you and your new GF really care for each other! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I sure hope things 2rn around for your xW, though. Since you have a son 2gether, you'll always have dealings of some sort.

I wish all of you the best,
-2long

hi jack-
I'm glad to hear that all is going well with you. Although I do wish you would have responded to the e-mail I sent you after you specifically asked for advice- i know "slow down" was not what you wanted to hear, but it would have been nice to have had an e-mail back even if you disagreed with my point of view. I am not a proselytizer and I do respect others' points of view!
Anyway, no big deal... it's just the internet after all.

I'm really glad that it is working out with "Indy" and that you are happy. I hope your XW can pull herself together and get her life back in shape- it sounds like she is suffering (perhaps deservedly so, given her bad choices) but still it is sad that she has fallen apart in this way. It sounds like she has gone through a real personality change.

Congratulations on your engagement- hope you have a wonderful wedding!

Best wishes,
espoir

Although I do wish you would have responded to the e-mail I sent you after you specifically asked for advice

i would have and was looking forward to your email but i never got it. 'maybe' i deleted it by accident because i get about 500 emails a day with most being spam and i click thru with the delete button too quickly sometimes. i'm disappointed i didn't see it.

"Indy" is working out real well <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> most likely the best thing that ever happened to me.

all the depression i went through in december and january and everything worked out for the best. i wouldn't have believed it.

thanks for the reply.

Jack, glad to hear that things are going well for you! And I hope you can get that boy back in line. I have no doubt the split is hard on him. My boys went a little crazy when my last H left in 1999.

Thanks for clarifying that for me, Jack. I was a little confused when I didn't get an acknowledgement- now I understand why. Anyway, what I wrote you is probably moot now. I was telling you to take it slow- okay so you have gone full steam ahead, but you are the best judge of what is right in your world.

the only other thing I would say is to take a little pity on your XW and try to work out a cordial relationship with her. She has lost alot through her own bad judgement and that is a bitter pill to swallow. I have no doubt that she is extremely depressed and that is probably why she is drinking. She needs to somehow reconstruct her life which is something she has to do on her own. The best outcome for this is if the two of you can come together in a working partnership to be the best parents to your son. Remember your XW is your son's mother. Your son is learning alot about relationships from the way you two interact. It's a very confusing time for him. Do your best to treat your ex courteously and respectfully even if her behavior makes it hard at times. At the same time, you do absolutely have to protect your son and keep him safe. It's difficult- I fear taking custody from her could be a devastating blow. Is there a way to talk to her- tell her you are concerned for her, you know she is under alot of stress and you are happy to have your son stay extra time with you under your supervision until she feels up to it?

If your wife is still using drugs and not taking any responsibility in raising your son you have the obligaton to protect him from her bad choices. Move him into your home as quickly as possible.He will probably need psychiatric therapy to deal with his confusion and anger resulting from his mother's behaviour and divorce. You should request a court order that allows your ex(who may be on drugs) to see your son only under supervision. It may give your ex the incentive to sign herself into a drug rehab program and get her life together.