My stupid stupid husband cheated on me multiple times (one-nighters) and was involved in a threesome with his brother and wife, AND was charged today with raping his sister-in-law (same brother's wife). I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I just need to distance myself from all of this. I'm feeling so alone and mad too. He went to the police station today to "talk" and they read him his rights and he spilled his guts out to them. I am so furious with him. He had a good case and ruined it all by saying that it was all his fault. He's such an idiot. I mean, I certainly don't condone what he did but it wasn't rape either. It was consensual and I know so based on what my sister-in-law told me herself. But my husband feels guilty for letting himself get into this whole messy situation that he just told the police that he's responsible for it all, which is bull!

Argh! I'm so mad! I can't stand that this is happening. This is going to devastate our 5 year old if he goes to prison. Then how will he be able to get a job and help support our family after that?

I'm so totally stressed!!!

<small>[ July 09, 2003, 06:00 PM: Message edited by: Pepsimama ]</small>

((((((((((((pepsimama))))))))))) sorry I dont have any advice just wanted you to I know I am thinking of you.....

Pepsi,

Welcome to MB!!!

I am sorry that you find yourself in such a situation!!!

I do believe that you have every right to be mad, angry, pissed off whatever else you might want to fell. But who or what are those feelings directed towards? Your husband, the situation that he has allowed to happen, your sister-in-law, yourself?

What do you want? Do you want to stand by and support your husband through this, with the hope of him giving the marriage a second try? Or do you want to be a way from the situation and him?

I don't believe that you can have it both ways, that would be cake eating.

Can you make it on your own and be a better person? Yes!!! You can!!! You read what you can here, focus on Plan A which is about you and making a better, happier you!!!!

You may want to contact a lawyer and see if there is anything that you need to do to protect yourself and your child from what it is your husband has done!!!

I am sure that you have already been told to

Take care, comeback here vent, ask questions, gain strength, get support we are here for whatever your needs may be!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thanks for the welcome and the hugs. :-) I really need them tonight. I guess that I need to clarify what it is that I am mad at. It's that I wanted to make another go of this marriage and husband does too. He is very sincere in his regret for what he did. I know that he is overwhelmed and scared right now but I don't have it in me to comfort him right now. This mess is his own doing. So I wanted to make a go of this but by him acting in a stupid manner with this whole police situation, I feel like he is destroying our chances for a future. I only asked him one thing in all of this and that was to put our family first, to protect us above all else. Well it'sgoing to be kind of hard to do that from jail (if that's where this takes him...). Our daughter is crying for him every day. He talks to her every evening before her bedtime and sees her every couple of days, but if he goes away to jail, she won't be able to see him at all, and that just breaks my heart. :-(

Anyhow, I have the support of my family and my father moved in with me to help me out around the house and financially. I love him SO much. If he wasn't my Dad, he would be my ideal man.

So thanks again for the support here too. I think I'll stick around.

It just irks me to no end how some women feel the need to turn "regret" into "rape", as if it vindicates them in some way in their own mind and in the face of others. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Hopefully, a good lawyer will get that "confession" thrown out!

Good Luck

Thanks Blind Sided. I completely agree with you. My sis-in-law had sex with my husband (without her own husband present, which according to her would have been ok then) and now she feels guilty that she did it without her husband there. And so she has decided to destroy our lives because of her own guilt. She even told the police that it wasn't forceful or anything. So how can that be rape? Oh, it was nice and gentle but it was non-consensual? Gimme a break! Argh. I never pictured my life turning out this way....