You guys are all awesome!! Thanks for the encouragement and the honesty. Yup, gotta say that some of it hurts. Sometimes the truth is a little painful. I am taking it one day at a time. I have promised myself that today I will not talk to OW about any non-work topics. Today I have made a new committment to love my wife. Tomorrow I will make another new promise to myself, and so on, and so on. I am listening to you all. You all know that it isn't going to be easy. I will do my best for my wife. We have told each other, that to make the arguments a little less frequent, we will agree that we are BOTH hurting, and agree to help each other through this pain. We will not say " I am hurting more than you, or I need more support than you". WE are both affected by MY affair, and that sucks. I did a selfish thing that hurt the closest person to me in my life. I have placed my marriage and my relationship with our three children in jeopardy by this thoughtless and dumb act. I am now doing what I can to resolve the issues one by one. No contact. No mentioning OW. No being angry at my wifes feelings. No putting my pain of withdrawal first. No downplaying the hurt to "us" that I caused. No rationalizing the need or want for contact with OW. All of this is gonna take time and I hope you guys will be there for me in this struggle. I must also say that beginning on Monday the 15th of this month. I will be travelling out of town to work for nearly a month. As much as I can, I will post topics and check your responses to them. My wife will also, I'm sure, be continuing to post topics, since she will be right here. Thanks again, all of you for the encouraging and empowering words. I hope that sometime, I can help you with a prob or situatiion. <P>------------------<BR>We stumble and fall sometimes, and that hurts. But it is the most incredible realization when you look and see that it was your spouse that picked you back up......<P>Take care of and Love each other.....Arik<P><BR>

I deal with the same delima. I am the betrayer (and was once the betrayed) and work with the OM.<P>I can only say GOOD FOR YOU!!! It will not be easy. Stand firm. And maybe being out of town, I hope the OW will not be there, will be a good thing to help with the withdrawal.<P>We are pulling for you!!!

Double<p>[This message has been edited by Connor (edited November 11, 1999).]

2S...what a wonderful update! You are being so clearheaded about tackling this, I'm so happy for you and your wife. It's so true that both of your pain should never be minimized and talk of who's pain is more is never beneficial, that only serves to be destructive to rebuilding. Get on an even keel and realize that moving forward is the key here. I applaud you for taking those crucial steps toward a great marriage.. Keep up the good work!

The OW will not be there for the first two weeks that I am "on the road", but for the second part of my being away, she will probably be in "close proximity" to where I am. Her H will be also. He knows all of the story as does my W. Hopefully this will not be a problem between the two of us. We all (OW,her H and myself) work in the same department at work. We won't necessarily be at the same place at the same time always, but the possibility is there. Again, I am taking it one day at a time. Keep me in your thoughts guys, thanx.<P>------------------<BR>We stumble and fall sometimes, and that hurts. But it is the most incredible realization when you look and see that it was your spouse that picked you back up......<P>Take care of and Love each other.....Arik<P><BR>

We are with you and we are here for your wife.<P>Do what honors your marriage! You will heal.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

I will keep you in my prayers.

YAAAAAY!!!!! Way To Go - 2Soulmates<P>Can't ask for more than that!!!<P>I am very glad that you and your wife found MB and applied to it together like this....half the hard part is in being on the same page.<P>You will have hard times ahead, but if you keep your family as your priority it will make it much easier.<P>Just ALWAYS be honest...if you slip up - do not try to hide it...it will come out and all the good accomplished will be erased. Always tell each other the truth!!!!! Talk to each other with love and honesty and keep one of your feet in the other's shoe if you know what I mean!! (consider the other's feelings with what you say and do)<P>HUGS and PRAYERS,<P>Sheba

This sounds like great progress...I hope this is genuine on your part. The "no mentioning ow" thing, raises suspitions in my mind.<BR>How are you going to *share* what your going through, (your DAILY struggle, the upcomming trip, your wifes fears ect...) with *THAT* condition in place? That WOULD be a handy way to do whatever you want regarding ow and not have to tell your wife about it.

Mr. Lucky,<BR>What a positive post!!!!!!!!!!!<BR>The more you think this way, the more it will work for you. Your self respect will return, and you will be so happy with your contribution to your marriage, then it will grow from there. Keep in constant touch with your wife while you are gone. It will help you too!<BR>What a relief, we were all trying so hard to get you on the right road, keep going, don't diappoint us and YOUR WIFE. <BR>The thing you need to change now, is your name. <BR>I wish you both SOOOO much luck and happiness!!!!!!<P>Almost Happy<P>-------<BR>TIME

Mr Lucky,<BR>PS...... I have an idea!!!!!!!!!!!<BR>Why don't you post a NEW post to your wife here and tell her how you feel now, kinda like a promise to her.....<BR>Just a thought, I would have loved it if my H did that. <P>Almost Happy<P>------<BR>TIME

You’re doing the right thing! Way to go.<P>Just remember, it won’t be easy. Lean on your Wife & let her lean on you!<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Let us know how it goes... and your decision is the right one: <B>I promise</B>!!<P>------------------<BR>~Sheryl<P>Marriage: the most important contract you'll ever enter into, and the most sacred.<P><BR>

Good luck!! My thoughts and prayers are with you during this trial. Just remember that there are people who support you. I wish my H would even attempt to try as hard as you are. <P>Sheryl W.

2 soulmates,<BR> First off, YOU ARE ACTING LIKE A MAN AGAIN!! Clear headed and strong!! GOOD FOR YOU!!! I've never posted to you because my W left for OM and, well I HATED YOUR POSTING NAME. No such thing. We only get one. I'm glad you picked the "True" Soul mate. the one God sent to you. GOOD LUCK, PRAYERS and.... LOSE THAT NAME WILL YA!!!!! FRANK<P>------------------<BR>desperate<BR>"If yesterday didn't stop today, Why should TODAY stop tomorrow??" <BR>"Wisdom is why!!"<P>

ACTUALLY YOU ONLY NEED TO "LOSE" THE 2, THAT WOULD MAKE YOUR W PROUD AND TOUCH HER HEART!! FRANK

Hi, To those of you who don't know, I'm 2s wife. To be totally honest his user name does bother me but I don't want him to change it until he is ready. It will mean so much more to me than if he does it just because everybody tells him to. <P>This is just for you 2S- I LOVE YOU!<BR><P>------------------<BR>NICOLE<P>

Good going, 2S!! You know how hard it's gonna be, but it seems you have the right attitude. And a wife willing to work hard with you - what a great combination!!!<P>Keep up the good work!<P>Lori

OK, only had a few minutes at home this morning, now I'm at work. <P>DON'T CRUMBLE! You're gonna feel like you're getting through this ok and then, all of a sudden, it's gonna be awful. HOLD ON. Call your wife. Talk to us. Take a walk. Snap a rubber band. Scream. <P>Remember, it doesn't mean you can't do it,it doesn't mean you'll never get it out of your head, it's just part of the process. You CAN get through it.<P>OK, gonna shut up now. We're all pulling for both of you. I can almost feel wonderful things ahead!<P>Lori